Consciousness:
You won’t find yourself condemning people unless you wanted to project the idea that you are better than them.***Perception reflects what you taught. It’s not meant to teach you what reality is.***The past is a mental story being projected now. Life is now and only love is real.***Love and death cannot be accepted together. Whoever believes in death doesn’t know love.***All that can be perceived is evidence of the separation that never happened.***Belief in death is arrogance. It’s only justified by perception, which is a self-projected defense against reality.***You'll get what you want when you want what you've got.***Anticipation of problems causes problems to occur.***Caring or not caring is not up to you. It’s only up to you to love.***When you’re certain of the outcome, you won’t mind how long it takes to be revealed.***
There is no male nor female, rich nor poor, young nor old, beautiful nor ugly, light nor heavy.
God is within everyone and everything, and all you want is God's love, which is given to you as soon as you're willing to stop making your distinctions matter.
***
You are using your perception to distract yourself if you think failure is bad and avoiding failure is good.
This kind of thinking is guided by the ego. It gives your creative power over to fear and multiplies illusions of failure.
There is no failure. There are only lessons. Be glad that everything is unfolding as it should.
***
To me, an open relationship is not about having sex with different people. Neither of us has had any desire for that.
It’s about constantly surrendering the perceived need to control, manipulate or influence each other’s thoughts words or actions.
My man and I think differently on many things, but it occurred to me that we may have been attracting each other for over 25 years because we each have a sense that our relationship is for liberating our shared mind...not for meeting our separate desires.
***
Excerpt from a book that's taking form.
"I knew that when people weren’t showing up for me in a way that felt supportive it was only because I didn’t feel deserving. It took me a couple of years of sitting with discomfort in the illusion of time to feel so deserving, which is a relatively short period of time considering that the feeling of undeserving has been passed down over millennia.
Those years of offering Wisdom Dialogues while accepting and responding to arguments represents a powerful learning process whereby I knew that it was a blessing to feel unworthy of support. During that process, I was consistently offering willingness to feel the emotional discomfort that was arising in me while denying truth to the thoughts that seemed to justify the discomfort."
***
"Trying to get certain people to behave certain ways, or love you in a certain way, or be a certain way to you, is demonstrating lack of trust, lack of acceptance of where your love really comes from; who really loves you. It's not coming from people. When you have the perception of people loving you, that's still having the perception of God's love. That's what's coming back to you. You're receiving it for yourself, and then you're sending out messengers to bring it back to you. That's all." - Excerpt from Wisdom Dialogue "Needing Nothing"
***
Nothing has changed your innocence
"It seems like stuff is happening it is not happening. Everyone dreaming is completely innocent. Everyone in dreaming is completely innocent. The only purpose of the body is for, is demonstrating to everyone including yourself, that you're only innocent and nothing that you seem to do in the dream has changed that at all. The body, that includes all of the bodies thought, it's fully projected by the mind and it's for the body, in the physical sense it's a brain interpretation of energy. But it's only interpreted for the body sense, which you're not. "
***
Allowing your Support
If you feel unsupported, it’s not because people aren’t supporting you.
All people are doing is supporting you! They are doing and saying exactly what you need at exactly the right time.
It’s as if you asked them to perform an act for you, to help you either uphold the illusion of fear or share in the reality of love, depending on which world you prefer to look upon.
An apparently unsupportive person projects a guilty self-belief so that you can become aware of a guilty self-belief being projected by you.
The other person does not need their guilty self-belief and neither do you have any need for yours. Rest assured that if you perceive lack of support from anyone, you are not seeing yourself or them clearly.
If you release them from your condemnation it releases both of you. In this way, you allow the people in your dream to demonstrate their support.
***
You cannot identify with matter and spirit simultaneously.
Such an attempt reduces spirit to an illusion in your mind, thus making your deathless reality out to be an impossible dream.
Spiritual sight will remain elusive until you are willing to deny reality to matter, which blinds you.
***
You don't know who you are. ????
If you knew, you wouldn't see a world with seemingly separate beings having seemingly separate interests.
***
"Just the idea that you have needs makes you into this limited thing. And sex, it's just one of those things that's a huge blinder for people."
***
It’s not about what you do. It’s about allowing more compassion and peace of mind.
***
What you think you want can never satisfy you.
How you think that person, place or thing will make you feel is available to you now, and that feeling will come upon you as soon as you're fully willing to deny power to illusions.
***
All Pain is Past
Past pain is an illusion being projected now, and all pain is past.
It’s impossible to know the ecstasy you are while you insist that you are right about things that hurt and have no meaning.
Now, there can be no pain for you, unless you value being right over being without pain.
There is no healing for pain because pain does not exist, but the self-belief that causes the illusion of pain is already healed.
To accept that healing for yourself takes a little bit of willingness to accept that you are wrong about what’s causing you pain.
Once you are made aware of its cause the perception of pain cannot persist.
Guilt:
This make-believe world is for undoing the dream of separation. That’s all it’s for!
***
You can only see people, places and things a way in which you’re presently Willing to see yourself.
You can also choose to surrender the will that you made with ego in exchange for the will of God, which is truly your will.
In this way, everyone gets released from your condemnation, including yourself.
***
Any guilt that you seem to hold out for another is reflective of the guilty self-belief that you secretly wish to keep for yourself.
To be aware of this is enough. No need to hold it against yourself.
Just don't try to hide it from your sight. Because your sight, which is light, will immediately correct your belief in ideas that are against yourself, as soon as you dare to look upon them.
***
"It always comes to what is this for. You can use that for looking at these thoughts that come up that say you shouldn't be doing that. You don’t have a choice in what you do but it's all being given to you. You could say whatever you perceive yourself doing, that's what's being given to you. You're not doing it, it's being given to you as a perception. So now you can use that right now to undo this guilty self-belief, and the way that it gets undone, number one: Just getting the feeling of “I'm procrastinating, why am I not doing that”, just getting the feeling of anxiety and letting it all be okay, and things get revealed to you that way." - Excerpt from Wisdom Dialogue "Denying Reality to Death"
***
"You can use that right now to undo this guilty self-belief, and the way that it gets undone, number one: Just getting the feeling of “I'm procrastinating, why am I not doing that”, just getting the feeling of anxiety and letting it all be okay, and things get revealed to you that way. It really comes down to willingness. That's why I keep saying it's on not really a practice per se, like you would think of as a regular practice because its willingness, in the moment, as a thought arising going “you shouldn't be doing this, what's your husband gonna think”, “what if he divorces you, he didn't marry a lazy person, but now you're lazy”. Whatever is arising like that, and to just let all of those things wash over you. And I could feel it in that four-month period where I'm laying around, that this is very healing. When you know there’s healing happening through whatever perception…
There's no such thing as procrastination if you're using everything for healing. The procrastination is being used for that as well.
***
Everyone feels guilty for believing they have separated themselves from their Source. It is the reason why we can perceive ourselves as separate. The sense of separation is just an extrapolation of the guilty feeling. It is being played out so we can heal the underlying cause of it.
When kids seem to show disrespect, we can notice our reaction and love it up. It is not a matter of how you should behave with your kids. You just love those reactions up. You will not find yourself trying to convince them they are guilty because you are healing what’s causing you to feel guilty, which makes you very kind.
It goes for any kind of disrespect. You get the reaction and allow compassion for that reaction within you. Watch your breath and feeling, remember what’s true and be willing to make a choice for love.
(Noted from Lifting the Veil)
***
The ego’s story is about how your perception is there to stay. However, the perception is shifty. It is not held in place by thought.
It is such a great opportunity. Every time something comes up, you can be willing to see it is a pattern that keeps playing out. You can let yourself be in the sweet spot of just feeling how it is.
However, these thoughts come in and tell us, “This is how it is always going to be.” It is the ego talking, “This is how it has been and this is how it is going to be.”
It is very hard to see in the moment because of the defensiveness that’s meant to keep you in conflict with another. It is because it’s what gives the ego life.
The ego is fighting for its life by keeping you in conflict with people. So, these conflicted interactions can be repurposed for healing.
When you allow yourself to be excited about it like, “Yes, this is exactly what I need,” and you are sincerely thankful for it and you watch your projections of wishing they were different, you’ll notice that you’re engaging in an attack orchestrated by the ego.
In fact, the people you are fighting against are very different from the way you see them. They are already protected from all of your attacks whereby you make them out to be something that you despise.
(Noted from Lifting the Veil)
Worldly Seeking:
This make-believe world is for undoing the dream of separation. That’s all it’s for!
***
: "This idea of “love what is”, you don't fuckin’ know what is first. You think that what you're having a perception is ‘what is’ - it's not. That's ‘what is not’. Whatever you're having a perception of, that's ‘what is not’. What is is the opposite. You're not limited, you're not guilty, you're not separate, you don't owe anyone anything - it's the opposite of what it tries to represent to you, the complete opposite of that. Be willing to know yourself as that, more as what you are. None of us know ourselves completely otherwise we wouldn't be able to do this on zoom, nor would we want to, we wouldn't need to, right. The insanity is getting less and less and less, but it takes insanity to hold the body propped up, cropped up in a dream like that, so as that gets worn away, worn down, and we're seeing each other more clearly, then we're not afraid of each other, and we're not making illusions of harming each other. We no longer live in a world where we feel like there's violence outside of ourselves." - Excerpt from Wisdom Dialogue "Let the world spin"
***
This Morning's Q&A:
Q: Hope, what do you do if you are really not getting along with someone you love? And a pattern develops of someone getting upset with you every time you are together. You love this person. You want to support this person in every possible way. But when you get together, they find fault, blame, or criticize you...you see the person as your self, and you are aware that you are making it all up but fact remains....we got one person who keeps getting upset again and again and again
A: People are images in a dream, entirely made of your self belief. Beneath the image of them which you are projecting, their mind is innocent, fully sane and not separate from yours. They are also dreaming you up in a way that you are not. Your willingness to look past appearances will give you clarity and the ability to recognize the call for love and allow it to be answered through you, for both of you.
*******************
Q: What is your take on fake it till you make it? For example, faking your confidence in trusting spirit & speaking truth even if you don’t necessarily believe it yet? I practiced faking confidence when I was younger until I found myself outgoing & it seemed to work, but am unsure if that’s lying to myself.
A: It works because you're not really faking it. You DO have the confidence and trust. What seems to not have the confidence and trust is the fake-out.
***
Love Never Fails
You can predict that your business, marriage or parenting is going to fail and focus on protecting yourself against failure, or you can pour your love into it and let the outcome take care of itself.
There are no wrong outcomes, but many of you are making it very difficult on yourselves by believing that there are wrong outcomes.
Your perception of failure as actual failure is an error based on fearful misidentification. Any effort that’s projected out of such a mindset can only lead to more perceptions of failure so that you can use those perceptions to avoid love and play out self-deception.
You may think you can win if you save something that's “good for you” and avoid something that's “bad for you”, but while you focus on getting what you think you need and avoiding what you think you don't need, you use your perception to uphold illusions and deny that only love is real.
Your willingness to witness this play of deception within yourself will allow it to get healed. It will give you the courage to love through adversity until you are no longer capable of looking upon adversity because you no longer harbor a secret wish for it.
Ego:
If you find yourself being treated unfairly it’s because you have believed in the egoic thought that you have been unfair.
To the ego, being treated unfairly is the fair punishment that you deserve for having been unfair.
Whenever you perceive unfairness being done to you or anyone else, the ego’s voice demands that you hold people responsible for it, as if they were capable of doing something without your authority.
In this way, you will be treated unfairly over and ever again until death, which is the ultimate illusion of unfairness. The way out of unfairness and death is forgiveness for the thought that you have been unfair.
How? By a little bit of willingness to look past manifestations of unfairness and recognize the innocence of those who seem to have done you wrong.
Their innocence is yours. Are you willing to see yourself clearly?
***
The ego cannot accept life without death because real life is death according to the ego.
***
How do we dissolve our ego, because my ego is real tired of itself?
This is a very intelligent way of looking at it because you are not tired of anything, it's the ego that gets tired of always getting these bad results. But at the same time, the ego is built on fear and that is fear of Reality. Because to the ego, Reality is sudden death. That's why the ego is coming up and getting tired, because as the ego gets tired, and that's believed in, you tend to be guided by ego ways, ego methods of solving this problem and, the ego’s mantra is: “Seek but do not find”. So the ego will take you on all kinds of trips to dissolve itself.
***
How to dissolve our ego?
How do we dissolve our ego, because my ego is real tired of itself?
This is a very intelligent way of looking at it because you are not tired of anything, it's the ego that gets tired of always getting these bad results. But at the same time, the ego is built on fear and that is fear of Reality. Because to the ego, Reality is sudden death. That's why the ego is coming up and getting tired, because as the ego gets tired, and that's believed in, you tend to be guided by ego ways, ego methods of solving this problem and, the ego’s mantra is: “Seek but do not find”. So the ego will take you on all kinds of trips to dissolve itself.
***
How to stay unhooked at all times?
Well, you don't really want that, see? Anything the ego puts forth as what you want… And how to know that it's an ego want and not a true desire - is that it has something to do with how you should be, which is in this case, how things should be, how people should be, like if something's wrong, so it needs to be fixed.
The one true desire is the desire that's put in the mind immediately, as it's taken as if you separated yourself. The desire that's put in the mind is your true desire; it’s just to restore your mind to sanity. Getting hooked is part of it because you're not really hooked, you're actually having a dream. You're dreaming that you're hooked. It's like watching that which's trying to tell you: “I'm hooked” and have a laugh at it because you're not. You get the perception that you are. I'm getting the perception that “I'm hooked”. So glad that I'm actually not. That’s fun!
***
Here's the thing about intentions: Intentions have to do with a future and they arise by themselves. This doesn't have anything to do with you. This is just something that occurs. It's like a thought; it's just like an occurrent thought, an intention. And see if you identify with that, that's more body identification. It's like big ego’s like: “Hohoh, go ahead and set an intention”. You know, either you're gonna get pride, because you followed through, or you’re gonna get shamed because it didn’t quite work out. And that's the way an intention works from the ego’s perspective. So what's way more effective than intention? It is willingness, and willingness is in the present moment only, see?
***
Empathy, offered as an attempt to understand another person’s suffering is how to make suffering real and deny communication in favor of projection.
Indeed, it’s impossible to understand anyone’s ego without employing the ego.
But empathy offered as willingness to look past the suffering being perceived allows what caused the illusion of suffering to be undone, and your relationship to be made holy.
***
What looks like conflict between people is an effect of ego-driven mind using images of people to project its conflict with you.
***
The ego loves the body because it promises death. The ego’s love is meant to be a substitute for God’s love, who knows not of the body you made as a graven image of yourself.
The only real protection that can be had for the body comes through using it to deny reality to the body and to its world.
Using it for any other purpose such as to get what you think you want or to attack or disparage anyone sets it up for sickness, decay, injury, and death.
You are pure awareness, dreaming of a body and its world but not residing in either. Your home is in eternity which you never left, but which you cannot see because of your choice and determination to see evidence that you are guilty and unworthy of love.
As you use your determination to deny truth to the evidence of your unworthiness, your mind will get healed and your body projection will be a testament to your healed mind.
But of itself, as a separate entity, there is no healing for bodies.
***
It is time to make a commitment to see what you are thinking. Notice what it is you are thinking because all you can perceive is a manifestation of thoughts. All of what occurs to you is the result of your choice to give reality to thoughts.
When you get to the point where you had enough suffering, you get really alert and watch your thoughts arise. You notice which ones you are following and what’s causing them.
There is no cause outside of yourself for anxiety, confusion or questioning. You don’t have any questions unless you are following thoughts that are modifying yourself away from who you are. Basically, those thoughts are making a mockery of you and you are buying into them.
You have to be willing to see this. There is a fear and defensiveness saying, “I don’t want it.” So, if you don’t want it, you have to take responsibility for having made the choice to go down the dark road when you felt worked about a perceived problem.
Nothing can do this to you. So, you can laugh about it because it is like a performance you play out by putting these thoughts on like they are costumes. The ego will say that you are this or that and you can’t be your own light. However, you can always be the light instead of the image you painted of yourself.
(Noted from Lifting the Veil)
***
The ego’s story is about how your perception is there to stay. However, the perception is shifty. It is not held in place by thought.
It is such a great opportunity. Every time something comes up, you can be willing to see it is a pattern that keeps playing out. You can let yourself be in the sweet spot of just feeling how it is.
However, these thoughts come in and tell us, “This is how it is always going to be.” It is the ego talking, “This is how it has been and this is how it is going to be.”
It is very hard to see in the moment because of the defensiveness that’s meant to keep you in conflict with another. It is because it’s what gives the ego life.
The ego is fighting for its life by keeping you in conflict with people. So, these conflicted interactions can be repurposed for healing.
When you allow yourself to be excited about it like, “Yes, this is exactly what I need,” and you are sincerely thankful for it and you watch your projections of wishing they were different, you’ll notice that you’re engaging in an attack orchestrated by the ego.
In fact, the people you are fighting against are very different from the way you see them. They are already protected from all of your attacks whereby you make them out to be something that you despise.
(Noted from Lifting the Veil)
Guilt:
When people are projecting conflict they tend to appear threatening.
Willingness to deny truth to appearances allows you to recognize the call for love and accept the answer for both of you. ***
Why am I afraid to face reality? Because reality is fearful to those who feel guilty.
Why is there this sense of guilt? Because of believing in the idea that separation happened and that you caused it.
What if I don't feel guilty? You may not feel it until you can see what feeling you are avoiding when you believe in a guilty projection. (Eventually, that will stop seeming to work out for you.)
What does a guilty projection look like? Thought offerings that separate people and make them guilty, deny who you are and deny who others are to you. (Thoughts that are commonly considered normal, and even healthy)
How do I avoid projecting? Projecting cannot be avoided, but it can be undone. Use the power of denial to deny any truth to your mind's guilty projections, whether they seem to be about yourself of others.
Won't that be putting myself in danger of being taken advantage of and abused? No. It's the ultimate safety.
How do you know? Experience
Illusions:
All that can be forgiven is your illusions.
There is nothing that’s not reflecting what you wish you were.
***
The perception of narcissism within another or within oneself is the result of attempting to endow the mind with destructive qualities.
Healing what causes the illusion of narcissism is based on acknowledgement that there is no narcissist, but that the narcissist being perceived is only an image of that which your mind is attempting to make real.
***
Last week it felt like I had depression for a couple of hours. It was awesome! It was big! I felt like it was time for me to sit still and there were other things going on, too. In kicking back and watching the sensations arise and unfold, I recognized I don’t belong there and it is not my place. It was like walking through depression in a healing way because I recognized what it was and I couldn’t be affected by it.
It was a healing thing for me and I was happy. When a sense of depression arises for me, I feel happy about it. My face may be frowning but inside, I am laughing big.
Joy is a pure expression. You don’t get joy from things that arise or from illusions. You can get a sense of fleeting happiness from illusions but the inner joy is always there, almost like a well. If that’s not popping up, it is your cue to stay on purpose in recognizing what is going on and not getting entangled as if it means something about you.
(Noted from Lifting the Veil)
Judgement:
Love what is
"This idea of “love what is”, you don't fuckin’ know what is first. You think that what you're having a perception is ‘what is’ - it's not. That's ‘what is not’. Whatever you're having a perception of, that's ‘what is not’. What is is the opposite. You're not limited, you're not guilty, you're not separate, you don't owe anyone anything - it's the opposite of what it tries to represent to you, the complete opposite of that. Be willing to know yourself as that, more as what you are. None of us know ourselves completely otherwise we wouldn't be able to do this on zoom, nor would we want to, we wouldn't need to, right. The insanity is getting less and less and less, but it takes insanity to hold the body propped up, cropped up in a dream like that, so as that gets worn away, worn down, and we're seeing each other more clearly, then we're not afraid of each other, and we're not making illusions of harming each other. We no longer live in a world where we feel like there's violence outside of ourselves."
***
To practice judging situations and then determining your response to them is to practice self-attack.
But to practice allowing judgment to pass you by is how perceived situations get used for healing their cause.
Responsibility:
There is no real patriarchy.
The illusion of it is made out of unwillingness to take responsibility for thinking against reality.
True Identity:
"Any perceived story is for the same thing, it's for seeing through it, is for recognizing the truth, and all it takes to recognize the truth is willingness. Are you willing to deny truth to that illusion? You'll notice a heaviness when you get a body reaction, you get a physical reaction - and remember even physical reactions, they’re mental projections, you just feel them physically. You get this really physical reaction to something and it seems like that thing is really real, and it's like there’s some pressure on you now. It's like you've taken on some fearful thought and now you feel a little bit irritated - and just noticing that you're taking on this thing that's just swirling around and really being taken care of all by itself. It doesn't even need you to get emotional over it at all. It's just playing out and then there are all these other stories, and it's swirling around like this, and just let it swirl around. It's like there's this mind that wants to get into that - it sees this tornado and wants to just dive into that tornado and get all fucked up and swung around the wind and stuff. You come off the ride you're like “whoa that was intense”. You’re all tore back after that, when you can just let that spinning, spin, spin, spin, and let it take care of itself - let all the different voices talk to themselves." - Excerpt from Wisdom Dialogue "Let the world spin" ***
Feeling sorry for a person who appears to be sick multiplies illusions of sickness. It’s the polar opposite of what’s needed for healing.
To truly heal the sick takes willingness to admit that sickness is a hallucination, which has no justifiable basis and no reality.
Such willingness will bring you joy, and feeling joy in the face of perceived sickness is what it takes heal its cause.
Body Illusions:
Sickness isn’t real. It’s like a mathematical result of attempting to make the body real.
***
The body is not capable of loving or being loved. It has no intelligence and is the home to no one.
The body is a projected mental device for perceiving the thought of separation made manifest.
What loves the body does not know what love is. It secretly hates the body and seeks for love in that which promises death.
To know true love, the kind that promises eternal life, takes willingness to deny reality to the body and its world of illusions.
To deny reality to the body, you don’t have to do anything different. For instance, you may still find yourself eating healthy even though it has no real effects.
The denial occurs on the level of thinking, not doing. Deny truth to the evidence that you have made to prop the body up as intelligent, vulnerable and having needs.
Consistent denial of the body illusion will bring about true perception, which will allow you to receive the love of God and extend it to those who are still in bondage.
***
Just the idea that you have needs makes you into this limited thing. And sex, it's just one of those things that’ll a huge blinder for people. Because it seems to be like a need; it seems to be like a real need. It seems in our country, the United States, our apparent need for food and water is met. Now we're coming up with something else. “Oh but now I need sex too”.
And then when you're having sex all the time, you need something else, and another needs going to pop up, as long as you take needs to be true. ⠀⠀
And that’s the whole illusion. The whole illusion is meant to show you that you have needs that are not being met because that's what upholds this guilt that you're projecting for yourself. And without that guilty self-conscious, without that guilty idea about yourself, you're awake in heaven.
***
"It seems like stuff is happening. It is not happening. Everyone dreaming is completely innocent. Everyone in dreaming is completely innocent. The only purpose of the body is for, is demonstrating to everyone, including yourself, that you're only innocent and nothing that you seem to do in the dream has changed that at all. The body, that includes all of the body's thought, it's fully projected by the mind and it's for the body, in the physical sense it's a brain interpretation of energy. But it's only interpreted for the body sense, which you're not. That's why it's not about you, nothing that you perceive is about you, it doesn't really concern you, so you don't have to be concerned... it's gonna play out the way it needs to play out, that's why there's never anything to worry over." - Excerpt from Wisdom Dialogue "Let the world spin"
***
There’s no suffering that goes unhealed because there is no suffering that’s real.
But trying to understand suffering makes it real for you, which multiplies your illusions of suffering.
The decision to look past such illusions begins the process of restoring your mind to sanity until illusions of suffering can be seen no more.
Relating:
Liberation is so simple that it's difficult for most people to accept.
***
It’s not that you dislike people, but you project your dislike of what you made of yourself onto them.
***
You cannot be afraid of anyone without having faith that they are separate from you.
***
One person is not really more difficult than another. Resisting your own reactions is what makes the perception of difficult people.
It's not personal, and the difficulty is not coming from the person. It's only coming from your mind.
***
This world is one performance. Just don’t identify as an individual performer, or there will appear to be other performers who react negatively to you.When you perceive people reacting negatively to you, that’s for healing the sense that the performance is real and that you are apart from the other performers.Your body and rest of the world are orchestrated by the same mind. Your willingness to see all as one equals healing for all.
***
I believe in your innocence, sanity and in our shared interest. If I'm perceiving something else, that's my mistake.
Specifically, I must have made an image of myself that's vulnerable to insanity and wanted to hide that image from my sight. That's why I projected it onto you.
I made you my scapegoat, thinking you would carry that fearful image far away from me.
I'm willing to have my mistake corrected so that our shared minds can be joined as one in perfect peace.
You don't need to change in order for me to accept your gift. In fact, please keep expressing as you do so that I can perceive the dark places in me that call for healing.
***
To the gentle at heart the world is gentle. To the kindhearted, the world is kind.
***
Love is invulnerable to the perceived world.
You are love.
***
Love is invulnerable to the perceived world.
You are love.
Parenting:
How Do I Get My Kids To...
The idea of getting your kids to do, or not do, something is an idea that's meant to make you and your kids miserable. It puts a lot of pressure on the parent as if they are responsible for their kid's actions and from that the child learns how to be a slave to the physical world.
In fact, the parent who thinks they need to get their kids to do, or not do, something learned how to be a slave to the physical world as a child and they are teaching the same thing over and over again.
Nothing happens and no one does anything. So, finding yourself afflicted by thoughts about getting people to do, or not do, something is an awesome opportunity to heal the underlying belief that says the physical world is real and you are a slave to it.
How do you heal from that? Feel the effect of the thought "How do I get my kids to..." and admit that you are projecting that thought to put limitations on yourself and make the physical world seem valid.
The physical is the manifestation of an emotional ride and if you're willing to get the emotional effect of thinking in terms of limitation and separation, you will be supported in breaking through the appearances and you will discover how to live in love.
People often ask me, "Then how do you get your kids to clean their room or brush their teeth?" I don't. I may find myself saying something, but I don't entertain the thought that I need to get them to do something.
It's more like watching a show for me, as in, I allow all words and actions to arise spontaneously. I don't find myself in any kind of struggle about how to get my kids to do things or fear of them not doing things.
Only love matters and everything else is meaningless. My only purpose is to demonstrate that and I enjoy the fruits of it every day.
Note - If you're new to this way of thinking, this is not something that you are likely to get right away. But if you're willing, just let your heart be open to it and your inner teacher will guide you along the way.
***
You give yourself the consequences you think you give to your children.
***
One of my new friends commented to me that parents should be unschooled before they unschool their kids.
I would say that Unschooling is impossible for Parents who are still committed to society’s belief systems.
Many times the parent doesn’t even know they’re so committed. They think they’re Unschooling, but they’re really still Schooling in that they’re laying down all kinds of restrictions on their kids.
One such restriction I’ve seen is pressuring them not to choose school. Another is condemning and disallowing electronics. Yet another is making them eat “healthy”.
To me, the whole point of Unschooling is offering our children freedom and supporting their creativity. But that’s impossible while the parent isn’t willing to allow the same for themselves.
In my case we unschooled together and I wish to continue Unschooling until the conditioned world disappears from our sight.
***
More Adventures as an Unschooling Surrogate Mom
Dillon is ready to return home. He isn’t perceiving his family as a threat anymore and he feels ready to reintegrate with their programs. Hooray!!When he first came to us, Dillon was extremely fearful. His little body would become stiff and he would become breathless while rapidly repeating that he was sorry, because he was afraid that he was going to “get in trouble”.
It occurred to me that he expected his behavior to earn him punishment and that he actively sought punishment even though he thought (and acted as if) he didn’t want it.
Once Dillon realized that nothing he perceived himself doing ever got him any punishment, his behavior changed significantly and quickly.
In fact, my older son asked me why his family was having a problem with him, commenting that he didn’t seem to be much trouble.
By the end of the first week, Dillon became adamant that he never wanted to return home. But he recently changed his mind about that.
His decision to return home came after Dillon had two instances of hallucinating loud screaming in his mind and images of the world encroaching upon him.
On the surface, it appeared as if staying up most of the night watching YouTube caused the hallucinating, but the motivation for staying up at night was only fear. That’s why it seemed to have fearful effects.
During the hallucinating, Dillon asked me how to make it stop and I related to him how to go through the fear, while I layed my hand on him and reminded him that he was safe. He relaxed within a few minutes and fell asleep.
The second instance seemed to be less intense and also seemed to subside sooner than the first, but after that Dillon’s fear of hallucinating again was multiplied.
Dillon told me that he realized he needs to have structure and punishments imposed upon him because it keeps him safe and healthy.
Such is a very good example of how people tend to cling to known fear rather than face unknown fear which arises on the path to greater freedom. The same is in no way any problem, as one can only accept as much freedom as they are ready for.
Many times a gradual release of fear is more easeful for people, as is the case with Dillon.
After Dillon related to me that he was afraid to fall asleep alone in his room, I’ve been sleeping with him every night so that while he’s with us he can feel safe enough to go to sleep before he passes out from exhaustion.
I’ve also told Dillon that I’m happy to sleep with him every night until he goes home. That seemed to put his mind at ease and he seems happy to be sleeping at night, yet he still “can’t wait” to go back home.
For the past few nights, he's been making a big scene, acting like he's distressed from fear and really wants to go home. Last night I told him if that's the case, I'm taking him to the airport right away. He changed his mind and calmed down immediately because he really doesn't want to go home before his birthday party, next Friday.
It's fun to see how fear is immediately resolved when it's seen that it's not getting us what we want!! lol!
Aside from the craving for rules and punishments, Dillon seems to be missing his family very much. Since he’s been here, he’s been able to perceive the love they have for him.
In fact, Dillon seems to be perfectly clear that everything his parents have done is because they love him. Yay!!
I just love how people are drawn together and apart perfectly in order to facilitate healing for our shared mind.
I’m also glad to be able to perceive even more how none of us are doing it right or wrong. Our roles are more like processes in one mental system that’s constantly being drawn towards greater love.
Today is Dillon’s 11th Birthday. We are going to celebrate with Sunday Funday and with a party next Friday. Soon after that, he will be off to begin his new life with his family.What a blessing!
***
A Hui Hou, Dillon!
Dillon returned home on Tuesday. I was suddenly guided to get him a flight after it was revealed to me that he was ready to go.
While Dillon had been saying that he didn't want to return home before his birthday party on the 18th, I was guided that he really wanted to return home as soon as possible.
So I made arrangements for him to fly before Dillon woke up. I felt a bit apprehensive because I wasn't sure how he was going to react to the news.
When I went into his room to get his suitcase, he was just waking up. He looked at me and I said: "I'm getting your suitcase because you're flying home today!".
His eyes widened and he smiled big, then he jumped out of bed and helped me pack his suitcase. We went to his favorite breakfast place and he was off on his next adventure.
Dillon only mentioned the birthday party once and it was just a quick "Too bad I'm going to miss my party, but I'm really glad to be going home."
We are still going to have a party on Friday for Dillon's birthday, and we will be shipping his gifts to him in Henderson, Nevada.
Dillon returned home on Tuesday. I was suddenly guided to get him a flight after it was revealed to me that he was ready to go.
While Dillon had been saying that he didn't want to return home before his birthday party on the 18th, I was guided that he really wanted to return home as soon as possible.
So I made arrangements for him to fly before Dillon woke up. I felt a bit apprehensive because I wasn't sure how he was going to react to the news.
When I went into his room to get his suitcase, he was just waking up. He looked at me and I said: "I'm getting your suitcase because you're flying home today!".
His eyes widened and he smiled big, then he jumped out of bed and helped me pack his suitcase. We went to his favorite breakfast place and he was off on his next adventure.
Dillon only mentioned the birthday party once and it was just a quick "Too bad I'm going to miss my party, but I'm really glad to be going home."
We are still going to have a party on Friday for Dillon's birthday, and we will be shipping his gifts to him in Henderson, Nevada.
***
Believing in the thought that you want your children to behave better is missing the point.
It's a reflection of a hidden belief that you are not worthy of peace.
Let yourself feel disturbed and be willing to have the reason for that feeling reinterpreted in light of what's true.
As your disturbance is met with compassion, both you and your child will learn that nothing can disturb the peace of God.
***
The idea that children need discipline is a reflection of the belief that you need discipline.
Most people would agree that such is the truth, but that doesn’t make it true.
If you find yourself disciplining yourself or your children, that’s okay!
But if you want to use your perception of discipline for restoring sanity, offer a little bit of willingness to see that believing in the sense of anyone needing discipline is an attack on your own sovereignty.
***
I was hearing from one parent today, and she said that she thinks, or someone else told her and she agreed, that parents can't really unschool their kids unless they're unschooled first. And the way I see it here is, we're all unschooling, kids not withstanding.
Let's qualify unschooling. Unschooling to me is the unconditioning. Unconditioning, kind of like wearing away at the society's conditioning as it comes up within you. So it's not a fight at all, it's very gentle. It's like undoing; undoing what you've done. Because basically the way you're conditioned and all of your beliefs and the way you behave, you've done that to yourself, not for ‘reals’, but in the dream. It's undoing what's ‘apparently’ been done. That's unschooling.
***
If you find yourself resisting your child for showing behaviors of disrespect, it is a manifestation of resisting your inner child. If you are reacting to their rudeness or to their acting disrespectful in your view, your reaction is telling you that you are resisting rather than embracing. It is all you need to know.
The alert parent recognizes opportunities to extend love and is willing to seize those opportunities. Basically, seizing the opportunity is watching your reaction, as if someone has done something unfair to you.
The kids are never really doing anything. They are just revealing to you what it is you need to know about yourself, what it is you are keeping hidden. It is like you are trying to get rid of the guilty self-concept you’re holding about yourself by making them out to be guilty. When kids seem like they’re being disrespectful, we can just love up the reaction within us.
(Noted from Lifting the Veil)
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