The Unwitting Sexualization of Children

unwitting sexualization children

Many parents unwittingly sexualize their children because they are afraid of the child having sex too young or being sexually abused, and they don’t know how to take care of their fear. This is not about trying to avoid fearful effects, it’s about healing what causes fearful effects to manifest in the first place.

The root cause of fearful effects is fear, and the only way to eliminate fearful effects is to see that their cause has no basis in reality.

Specifically, our mind is programmed with an “ego”, which guides us to project fearful feelings and then try to avoid them. When the parent dwells in fear over their child being exposed to sex, ego guides the parent to project images that effectively sexualize the child in the parent’s mind, to relate with the world as if the image they hold of the child is really true, and to make agendas to keep the child safe.

Such agendas cause conflict between parent and child at a minimum while increasing the likelihood that the parent’s fears will be played out. Once the child has been sexualized in the parent’s mind, notwithstanding all of the avoidance strategies, the parent’s mind has been programmed to see that the image they believe in is made manifest. That image and trajectory deny the child’s inherent innocence and invulnerability, which causes the child to feel guilty and react fearfully.

To avoid sexualizing your child or to undo what you’ve already made of them…take care of your fearful feelings about your child being exposed to sex.

If the child asks about sex, give them honest answers, but don’t make a big deal of it, or try to control them about it.

If you find out that your child has been masturbating, watching porn or engaging in some sexual behavior, and that triggers upset feelings in you, take care of your feelings instead of justifying them, especially in front of your child. In this way, the child will not be afraid to confide in you if anything feels uncomfortable or scary to them.

That kind of confidence and freedom makes children far less susceptible to peer pressure, to playing victim to sexual predators, or to playing the role of sexual predator. It also protects them from developing a guilt complex about feeling sexual or about having sexual encounters.

If you find out that your child has been playing the role of sexual predator, take care of your feelings so that you can communicate with them. In this way, you can help them uncover and heal the guilty thought process that’s responsible for making them act out as a predator.

If you find out that your child has been playing the role of sexual victim, again, take care of your feelings so that you can communicate with them. In this way, you can help them uncover and heal the guilty thought process that’s responsible for making them into a victim.

I understand that this is a sensitive subject for people, and that’s because pursuant to the ego’s guidance, our mind is conditioned to keep fearful programs protected so that they can continue to justify feeling fearful. That’s how ego prevents us from finding out that there is really no basis for the fearful feeling and no need for ego at all.

As feeling fearful gets healed instead of getting projected, it’s our children who are getting the benefit of our mind’s protection instead of the ego’s fearful program. In addition, love gets extended and harmony prevails between parent and child.

How do you take care of your feelings? Notice when an uncomfortable or painful feeling arises in your body and just offer a little bit of willingness to admit that the feeling is a projection of your own confusion. In this way, your mind learns how to accept healing for your perception instead of using your perception to keep the cause of feeling fearful hidden from your sight.

What Do You Really Want?

Taking toys away, or using other forms of manipulation (“discipline”) as a means of convincing your child to change their behavior, doesn’t solve anything.

It may seem to affect their behavior and help you feel better in the short term.

But it denies your potential to feel good regardless of how your child acts while demonstrating to your child that controlling and manipulating people’s behavior is the best way to get what they want.

Did you know that trying to convince children and other people to act differently is only a conditioned habit intended to make you feel better temporarily, but that same habit actually leads you deeper into despair?

I get that you may want to press upon your child the “realities” of the adult world, but that’s not the purpose for which your child shows up in your experience. Their purpose is to help you undo the adult-world thinking that’s actually making you unhappy, not to become a slave to that kind of thinking themselves.

In fact, your child shares the same purpose with you, and you were aware of your purpose as a child, but your early experiences may have caused you to deny yourself and become obedient to worldly wisdom instead.

The question to consider is “What do you really want?”. Would you rather have miracles or masquerades? Heaven or the dream of death? Your answer to these questions is evident in the way you react to your perceptions of bad behavior.

Don’t worry about what you will do about your child’s behavior. All actions (yours and theirs) occur automatically and they are perfectly organized to bring about exactly the lessons you need to learn in order to restore your mind to sanity.

Through your willingness to be aware of what motivates your reactions, you will become so disciplined in the art of true forgiveness that the thought of imposing discipline on your child or anyone else will cease to have any effects on your behavior.

What Are You Really Feeding Them

Just because you bought into the idea that food has real effects on the body doesn’t mean you have to hand down that painful self-belief to your kids, as if it’s true.

In fact, it’s irresponsible to make yourself or your kids responsible for what you seem to put into your bodies, and teaching that to your kids only encourages them to be irresponsible too.

Why is that irresponsible? Because you are responsible for ALL that you perceive, and if you are perceiving that one illusion (food) affects another illusion (body), it’s your responsibility to deny truth to that illusion.

It’s Denying truth to illusions, not teaching allegiance to them that heals the appearance of bodies that are vulnerable to sickness and death.

You can let eating be fun again and learn for yourself that all effects are mental if you’re just a little bit willing to give up false responsibility and embrace what’s really true.

I’m aware that this is a difficult concept for most people to consider, for the common person has been conditioned to believe that food has effects on the body, and such has become their experience. But just because you experience something in the illusory world does make it true.

In fact, the illusory world is set up to deny what’s true and to induce you to believe that you are a body that’s vulnerable to effects of the world, one of which is food. In fact, both body and world are effects of erroneous self-belief being projected by your own mind, and those effects are only being projected for the purpose of correcting the root cause. Said correction takes willingness to look upon what caused the worldly effects being perceived, but that cannot occur whilst you are insisting that the effects themselves are real.

Reclaiming Innocence

Because our deepest desire is to reclaim the innocence that our self-projected minds have made into a far-fetched fantasy, babies and unconditioned children are projected into our experience to demonstrate the way.

However, the common adult uses the appearance of children’s carelessness and innocence to teach themselves exactly the opposite.

Specifically, the common adult doesn’t think in terms of the child’s careless innocence demonstrating what’s possible for themselves, but in terms of teaching the child that bodies are vulnerable to sickness, attack, and death, and in terms of how to apply worldly solutions to avoid the different forms of bodily harm that the adult projected onto the child in the first place.

Such is a form of self-importance that guarantees more illusions of frail, limited and vulnerable bodies. It also guarantees that death remains as if it’s the inevitable opposite of life.

Reversing the thinking of the world is simple, but not necessarily easy. Everyone chooses whether to use the world’s thinking as a guide for teaching what they already know, or for learning how to reverse it.

To choose consciously takes a little bit of willingness to go through defensiveness and fear, and admit that what you think you know amounts to foolishness compared to the wisdom demonstrated by babies children before they learn to deny themselves.

Every perception provides a new opportunity to choose again.

Loving Guarantees Safety

Accepting that you must try to keep your children safe from harm is an effect of first accepting that loving thoughts cannot be trusted and that fearful thoughts are justified and true.

Trying to protect the invulnerable teaches them to be vulnerable, which sets them up for illusions of harming and being harmed.

How do you undo this dangerous thought programming?  Every time a fearful thought crosses your mind, remind yourself that you can have a loving thought instead.

If you are used to agreeing with fearful thoughts, this will feel emotionally painful, because pain is the effect of fear and fear is a device that’s meant to keep you in a state of defensiveness against knowing what’s really true. But just beneath the thin surface of pain and fear is an endless space of freedom and sense of safety that you may not have known for a long time.

As you accept that freedom and safety for yourself, your children will learn that they can trust loving thoughts and that allowing their thoughts to be loving guarantees their safety. In a universe that’s only reflecting thoughts, loving is far more powerful than any effort you can make toward keeping your children safe.

It’s not that you are capable of making any physical effort in the illusion, but agreeing with fearful thoughts is a huge effort because it takes an enormous amount of energy to deny your loving essence. This leads to you feeling worn out, overworked and burdened.

In contrast, allowing your thoughts to be loving takes no effort. Although going through the pain of fear may feel like an effort in the beginning, over time, loving proves to be effortless, uplifting and energizing.

None of this is saying that you should or shouldn’t try to keep your children physically safe. You don’t have any choice in that. Your actions are playing out automatically, leading to exactly the experiences you need to undo what causes a world of illusions that demonstrate a lack of safety in the first place.

P.S. The photo here is of my boy when he was two years old, learning how to work a machete. He was also fond of playing on the roof when he was four years old. He gave this mama many opportunities to undo fearful programming!

Cure to the Predatory Mind

Child predators are made from fear of what can happen to children, which is rooted in guilty self-belief.

The cure for child predators is awareness that your thoughts have the power that you give them to make images that report back to you that what you thought is the concrete truth.

Practically, how healing for the predatory mind works is when you find yourself thinking of child predators or any child being in danger, ask yourself “Is this thought loving?”

Note that a loving thought is equally loving to all. It doesn’t evaluate one person as a predator or another as a vulnerable. That’s because in love, everyone is innocent and incapable of harming or being harmed.

You don’t have to do anything to change an unloving thought to loving. All it takes is a little willingness to admit that you must have evaluated wrongly, and your mind is changed for you.

When you admit that you must have evaluated wrongly, you will get the feeling effect of the fearful thought that was projecting outward, which will be emotionally painful.

Embracing that kind of pain is what allows the change to occur in your mind, which protects your children better than any worldly method you can come up with.

Even embracing emotional pain doesn’t require that you do anything. You only have to admit that the pain is caused by an unloving thought instead of agreeing with thought that says the emotional pain is justified by something that’s actually true.

Don’t worry about what you will do in your dream to protect your children. The nature of dreaming is that it’s occurring automatically.

Your responsibility is only to recognize that it is a dream and all power over the events of your dream comes from the way you choose to have the images in the dream interpreted.

There’s plenty of talk about wanting to stop child predators, but most people are unwittingly multiplying predators and putting their children in danger.

Isn’t it time for a solution that actually works?

Communication Is An Inside Job

Communication is beyond words. It’s the way of demonstrating to your own mind that you are Divine and invulnerable to worldly effects.

Whenever you find yourself wanting communication it’s because you’re already projecting yourself as limited and vulnerable, whilst imagining that someone outside of you is responsible for your feeling separate.

People can feel you. When you think you are wanting communication, what you are really looking for is an argument because you are already in an argument with yourself.

Your kids and other people pick up on that, and unless they are looking for an argument like you, it’s going to look like they are avoiding you.

So, when you feel avoided, you can make a conscious choice to get that feeling effect instead of pursuing communication with a person. When you are willing to get that feeling effect, it demonstrates to your mind that you are willing to learn how to truly communicate even in the midst of perceiving that communication is lacking.

As you rediscover your ability to communicate truly, you will rejoice with every appearance of you wanting communication and not getting it, because of the opportunity it presents for demonstrating who you really are, and thereby allowing your mistaken self-belief to get corrected.

As you enjoy your ability to communicate more and more, your mind will become calm and clear as a result.

In the outer world, your kids and others will seem respond with willingness to communicate with you, without your insistence that they do.

Parenting – Healthy Choices

Blog post on Parenting - Healthy Choices

Did you know that when your kid gets a tummy ache and you blame it on food, your child learns (just like you did as a child) to accept that they are vulnerable to worldly effects?

You may be thinking that it would be irresponsible not to inform your kid what caused them to get a tummy ache because that’s how they learn to choose foods that are healthier for their bodies. But get this, just because you think the food caused the tummy ache doesn’t make it so.

In fact, just having the perception of a tummy ache indicates an unhealthy mind. The body cannot be healthy or unhealthy because it is a benign projection of the mind that dreams it.

Any world where it seems like there is a choice between different foods is a dream world manufactured in your mind and projected onto consciousness. While it’s utterly impossible for one dream figure (food) to have an effect on another dream figure (body), that you can make believe that food affects bodies and experience the effects of that belief is self-evident.

Real – Healthy Choices

Whilst the writer would agree that it’s good to know what causes your child to get a tummy ache so that you can help them make healthier choices, first you need to know what they are really capable of choosing. That your child (or anyone else) can make a choice about what food they eat is only an illusion of choice.

But there is one choice that everyone can and will learn to choose from within both waking and nighttime dreams that not only protects them from getting tummy aches but which will eventually awaken them from dreaming altogether.

Only in dreams are tummy aches possible. In reality, tummy aches and all other aches and pains are impossible. In fact, all dreaming is caused by the sense of being vulnerable to death, which is the effect of a mind that mistakenly took itself to be guilty of separating itself from reality.

That’s why all dreaming, including nighttime dreams, leads to death unless the dreamer wakes up before death occurs.  

If you want to help your child wake up from their dream of death, you will choose to deny that dream effects, like food can affect other dream effects, like their body. But if you wish to help your child continue progressing toward death, you will choose to hold worldly cause and effect as if it’s a reality.

There is no right or wrong choice, but the choice between life and death is the only choice you can and do make from moment to moment.

In time, you will choose life. Perhaps that time is now.