The Unwitting Sexualization of Children

unwitting sexualization children

Many parents unwittingly sexualize their children because they are afraid of the child having sex too young or being sexually abused, and they don’t know how to take care of their fear. This is not about trying to avoid fearful effects, it’s about healing what causes fearful effects to manifest in the first place.

The root cause of fearful effects is fear, and the only way to eliminate fearful effects is to see that their cause has no basis in reality.

Specifically, our mind is programmed with an “ego”, which guides us to project fearful feelings and then try to avoid them. When the parent dwells in fear over their child being exposed to sex, ego guides the parent to project images that effectively sexualize the child in the parent’s mind, to relate with the world as if the image they hold of the child is really true, and to make agendas to keep the child safe.

Such agendas cause conflict between parent and child at a minimum while increasing the likelihood that the parent’s fears will be played out. Once the child has been sexualized in the parent’s mind, notwithstanding all of the avoidance strategies, the parent’s mind has been programmed to see that the image they believe in is made manifest. That image and trajectory deny the child’s inherent innocence and invulnerability, which causes the child to feel guilty and react fearfully.

To avoid sexualizing your child or to undo what you’ve already made of them…take care of your fearful feelings about your child being exposed to sex.

If the child asks about sex, give them honest answers, but don’t make a big deal of it, or try to control them about it.

If you find out that your child has been masturbating, watching porn or engaging in some sexual behavior, and that triggers upset feelings in you, take care of your feelings instead of justifying them, especially in front of your child. In this way, the child will not be afraid to confide in you if anything feels uncomfortable or scary to them.

That kind of confidence and freedom makes children far less susceptible to peer pressure, to playing victim to sexual predators, or to playing the role of sexual predator. It also protects them from developing a guilt complex about feeling sexual or about having sexual encounters.

If you find out that your child has been playing the role of sexual predator, take care of your feelings so that you can communicate with them. In this way, you can help them uncover and heal the guilty thought process that’s responsible for making them act out as a predator.

If you find out that your child has been playing the role of sexual victim, again, take care of your feelings so that you can communicate with them. In this way, you can help them uncover and heal the guilty thought process that’s responsible for making them into a victim.

I understand that this is a sensitive subject for people, and that’s because pursuant to the ego’s guidance, our mind is conditioned to keep fearful programs protected so that they can continue to justify feeling fearful. That’s how ego prevents us from finding out that there is really no basis for the fearful feeling and no need for ego at all.

As feeling fearful gets healed instead of getting projected, it’s our children who are getting the benefit of our mind’s protection instead of the ego’s fearful program. In addition, love gets extended and harmony prevails between parent and child.

How do you take care of your feelings? Notice when an uncomfortable or painful feeling arises in your body and just offer a little bit of willingness to admit that the feeling is a projection of your own confusion. In this way, your mind learns how to accept healing for your perception instead of using your perception to keep the cause of feeling fearful hidden from your sight.

What Do You Really Want?

Taking toys away, or using other forms of manipulation (“discipline”) as a means of convincing your child to change their behavior, doesn’t solve anything.

It may seem to affect their behavior and help you feel better in the short term.

But it denies your potential to feel good regardless of how your child acts while demonstrating to your child that controlling and manipulating people’s behavior is the best way to get what they want.

Did you know that trying to convince children and other people to act differently is only a conditioned habit intended to make you feel better temporarily, but that same habit actually leads you deeper into despair?

I get that you may want to press upon your child the “realities” of the adult world, but that’s not the purpose for which your child shows up in your experience. Their purpose is to help you undo the adult-world thinking that’s actually making you unhappy, not to become a slave to that kind of thinking themselves.

In fact, your child shares the same purpose with you, and you were aware of your purpose as a child, but your early experiences may have caused you to deny yourself and become obedient to worldly wisdom instead.

The question to consider is “What do you really want?”. Would you rather have miracles or masquerades? Heaven or the dream of death? Your answer to these questions is evident in the way you react to your perceptions of bad behavior.

Don’t worry about what you will do about your child’s behavior. All actions (yours and theirs) occur automatically and they are perfectly organized to bring about exactly the lessons you need to learn in order to restore your mind to sanity.

Through your willingness to be aware of what motivates your reactions, you will become so disciplined in the art of true forgiveness that the thought of imposing discipline on your child or anyone else will cease to have any effects on your behavior.

What Are You Really Feeding Them

Just because you bought into the idea that food has real effects on the body doesn’t mean you have to hand down that painful self-belief to your kids, as if it’s true.

In fact, it’s irresponsible to make yourself or your kids responsible for what you seem to put into your bodies, and teaching that to your kids only encourages them to be irresponsible too.

Why is that irresponsible? Because you are responsible for ALL that you perceive, and if you are perceiving that one illusion (food) affects another illusion (body), it’s your responsibility to deny truth to that illusion.

It’s Denying truth to illusions, not teaching allegiance to them that heals the appearance of bodies that are vulnerable to sickness and death.

You can let eating be fun again and learn for yourself that all effects are mental if you’re just a little bit willing to give up false responsibility and embrace what’s really true.

I’m aware that this is a difficult concept for most people to consider, for the common person has been conditioned to believe that food has effects on the body, and such has become their experience. But just because you experience something in the illusory world does make it true.

In fact, the illusory world is set up to deny what’s true and to induce you to believe that you are a body that’s vulnerable to effects of the world, one of which is food. In fact, both body and world are effects of erroneous self-belief being projected by your own mind, and those effects are only being projected for the purpose of correcting the root cause. Said correction takes willingness to look upon what caused the worldly effects being perceived, but that cannot occur whilst you are insisting that the effects themselves are real.

Vaccine Deception

I can see why having an experience of vaccines causing harm would make it seem as if vaccines are a real threat. I also understand that healing the root cause of perceiving harm and threat of harm in the world is not for everyone at this time.

Most people would rather make threats and harmful things real and then try to correct them, which only guarantees more of the same. But such is the backward thinking of the world to which we have all been conditioned to have faith in and be faithful to.

To deny truth to illusions takes a certain degree of understanding of what really makes illusions of harm in the first place. This doesn’t mean not doing anything about it, but it does mean willingness to recognize that no one is capable of doing anything at all….That all doing is like a special effect of the mind…convincing people that they do things on their own and that they are responsible for what they do.

It’s allegiance to the idea of doership that’s rooted in attraction to perceiving a world of death, destruction, sickness, and victimization, which we can and will undo.

One by one, each of us will play out our roles in allegiance to the illusion until we can see through it and we are no longer motivated to make it real. It’s only a matter of time, but time can go on for what seems like forever for those who remain committed to making illusions true.

Said commitment causes people to look for solutions in the world, only to multiply suffering for themselves. When the power of commitment is transferred to denying truth to illusions, that when the cause of suffering begins to heal once and for all.

Some of us are in that final phase now, with numbers growing by the day. Anyone can enter, but it takes a certain willingness to surrender worldly wisdom.

My joy is to support and assist anyone who is ready to take that quantum leap. With much love and admiration for all beings.

Understanding the Feeling Effect

This is an advanced idea, but when it’s properly understood, you will never again be able to make yourself out to be weak, frail, sick or wanting without knowing how to heal it.

Firstly, to facilitate understanding, here’s a depiction of the order of things and terms being used here:

Self-Belief (concept of self extrapolated from the mistaken thought that you separated yourself from reality) ——->> Feeling Effect (visceral sensations that demonstrate the consequence of Self-Belief) ——->> Peripheral Effects (thought and thought forms projected outward from the Feeling Effect aka everything that can be perceived) ——->> Fixating on Peripheral Effects supports Self-Belief and the wheel goes round and round

The Feeling Effect is the first effect of Self-Belief. It’s a demonstration of the energy that’s presently being projected outward to make Peripheral Effects. This is very difficult to see as it seems to be the other way around – it seems that the Peripheral Effects are responsible for arousing the Feeling Effect.

Because of the seeming order of things, the conditioned habit is to deny the Feeling Effect and focus on giving reality to the Peripheral Effects as if they caused the Feeling Effect. Fixating on the Peripheral Effects is the habitual tendency and the device used to deny the Feeling Effect and support Self-Belief, which occurs by default.

Peripheral Effects have no meaning and their only function is to keep the mind distracted from attending to the Feeling Effect and thereby resolving Self-Belief.

It is only through embracing the Feeling Effect that Peripheral Effects lose power over the mind and Self-Belief gets healed.  Specifically, the mind can only learn that it’s a benefit and not a threat to release Self-Belief by going through the Feeling Effect.

For instance, feeling like one wants something (better health, more money, connection, freedom, etc) is caused by the Feeling Effect of Self-Belief, The habitual response is to fixate on the Peripheral Effect by agreeing with thoughts that seem to prove that something is really wanted, which supports Self-Belief.

In this way, the Feeling Effect gets resisted and time gets extended to accommodate more Peripheral Effects being made while protecting the Self-Belief.

Conversely, when the mind’s attention is consciously turned back toward the Feeling Effect, the underlying Self Belief gets resolved because it is not being supplied with the necessary energy in the form of thought projections that support it.

Accordingly, the Feeling Effect and Peripheral Effects are denied reality, happiness ensues, and time shortens.

Q: Why would anyone want to shorten time?

A: Because time is only necessary while there is allegiance to Self-Belief. Everyone really wants to return to timelessness, wherein there is no possibility of dreaming that life has an opposite.

Q: Without dreaming, isn’t there just nothingness, like a void.

A: No, that idea is based on fear of death and intentional forgetting of the world you thought you lost forever. The real world is an extension of eternal Life without an opposite and without conflict or the effects of time.

The Choice To Love

Your escape from this world depends on your acceptance of all “others” as your Savior. “Others” includes your body and projected mind (who you think you are).

There is truly no one other than yourself. The others that occur to you are only projections of mistaken self-belief.

Hating, attaching to them or fearing them makes the mistaken self-belief real for you, which ties you to this world. But loving them as yourself releases you.

How do you love all others as yourself? Watch how you seem to feel about them. That’s how the mistaken self-belief is making you feel about yourself.

The tendency is to hide from feeling the effects of mistaken self-belief by projecting those feeling effects onto others, but you can make another choice at any given moment.

The choice for your release from this dream of death takes a little bit of willingness to feel the effects of projecting for yourself.

How do you know when you’re projecting? There is a sense of irritation, uncomfort or pain, whether physical or emotional.

Any sense that denies joy is only upheld by your choice to project thought. It’s a conscious choice, although it’s common to consciously hide it from yourself as well.

Be mindful of your projecting and willing to feel it. Don’t try to stop projecting or argue with it, but turn your attention toward feeling, physical or emotional. Pinch yourself if you need to.

That’s all there is to it. Keep up with the practice and in time all of this will be undone and give way to what’s always been.

Reclaiming Innocence

Because our deepest desire is to reclaim the innocence that our self-projected minds have made into a far-fetched fantasy, babies and unconditioned children are projected into our experience to demonstrate the way.

However, the common adult uses the appearance of children’s carelessness and innocence to teach themselves exactly the opposite.

Specifically, the common adult doesn’t think in terms of the child’s careless innocence demonstrating what’s possible for themselves, but in terms of teaching the child that bodies are vulnerable to sickness, attack, and death, and in terms of how to apply worldly solutions to avoid the different forms of bodily harm that the adult projected onto the child in the first place.

Such is a form of self-importance that guarantees more illusions of frail, limited and vulnerable bodies. It also guarantees that death remains as if it’s the inevitable opposite of life.

Reversing the thinking of the world is simple, but not necessarily easy. Everyone chooses whether to use the world’s thinking as a guide for teaching what they already know, or for learning how to reverse it.

To choose consciously takes a little bit of willingness to go through defensiveness and fear, and admit that what you think you know amounts to foolishness compared to the wisdom demonstrated by babies children before they learn to deny themselves.

Every perception provides a new opportunity to choose again.

One Desire

The desire for anything of this world reflects the desire to escape this world.

This world, which projects from your own imagination is caused by the secret belief that you are deserving of death for having separated yourself from reality.

Having found yourself guilty and deserving of death, this world is a projection of your desire to make a substitute reality and a secret hiding place to avoid certain death. According to your desire, the world as you know it is made manifest.

However, this world is not a good substitute for reality nor is it a good hiding place because it only leads to a seeming death and then another seeming birth, whilst you carry around the guilty self-concept that makes illusions of pain, sickness, conflict, and scarcity throughout each lifetime.

As long as you are projecting the desire to make this world, you are also holding within your mind the desire to escape this world, which causes tension and sense that you deserve more. That tension and sense of deserving more is an indication that you cannot succumb fully to this dream of death because you belong in eternity, not in time.

The only time in which you have a direct connection to eternity is Now. It’s a window of opportunity to undo the belief that you separated yourself from Heaven and threw away eternal life.

The way to escape this prison world is through your relationship to it. Do not permit your mind to hold yourself as a victim to anything you perceive nor dwell on the past or future as if they are not projected from your mind in the present moment.

Instead, remind yourself why you are making illusions so that you can use those illusions for undoing the guilty self-belief that is their cause by allowing your thinking to align with Creation.

How do you allow your thinking to align with creation? Through feeling. If it causes you any shred of fear, upset, irritation or worry, it’s based on a guilty self-concept. Keep looking in the direction of thoughts that resonate with the pure joy that’s within you and provide you with a sense of comfort and relaxation that’s not of this world.

It takes great effort, willingness, devotion, and discipline to choose your own escape from the dream of death, but it does get easier over time and it is worth it!

If you don’t use the illusion of time for undoing the guilty self-concept that makes this world manifest, you are using it to make this world real for yourself, which leads to greater and greater degrees of suffering until you are forced to use time wisely. Either way, you will inevitably choose your own salvation. It’s just a matter of how much sickness, conflict, and death you are willing to go through in order to uphold a world that’s made out of a mistaken belief about who you are and what you’ve done.

No Grieving in Loving

What often passes for love is really attachment. People fall in attachment and mistake that for falling in love because they are attracted to the grieving that follows.

In fact, worldly wisdom insists that people grieve because they love deeply as if love really is something that leads to pain.

But any form of love that can lead to pain was never really love at all. It’s only a make-believe substitute for love projected from a mind that mistakenly believes it has cut itself off from true love.

No one falls in love, but it is possible to rise in love out of the shallowness of attachment to false love.

There is no grieving in Love. When you find yourself grieving, it can be resolved if you simply accept no thought that says you are grieving because of love or because of anything other than mistaken self-belief.

Unwillingness to have the cause of grieving healed is due to mental defenses set up to protect this important ego device which makes love fearful and fulfills the secret wish to keep the dream of death alive.

Grieving is not a normal part of life. It’s what people think they deserve, and so they seek it out through the particulars of their lives and then use those particulars and their concept of love as justification for the grieving that ensues.

This doesn’t mean that grieving is wrong or bad, or that anyone is less spiritual if they find themselves grieving.

Grieving has an important purpose. It presents an opportunity to heal what caused it, thus allowing you to reclaim the kind of love you are truly worthy of.

All it takes is a little bit of willingness to stop agreeing with thoughts that seem to justify grieving, especially when you find yourself in the midst of grieving.

Loving Guarantees Safety

Accepting that you must try to keep your children safe from harm is an effect of first accepting that loving thoughts cannot be trusted and that fearful thoughts are justified and true.

Trying to protect the invulnerable teaches them to be vulnerable, which sets them up for illusions of harming and being harmed.

How do you undo this dangerous thought programming?  Every time a fearful thought crosses your mind, remind yourself that you can have a loving thought instead.

If you are used to agreeing with fearful thoughts, this will feel emotionally painful, because pain is the effect of fear and fear is a device that’s meant to keep you in a state of defensiveness against knowing what’s really true. But just beneath the thin surface of pain and fear is an endless space of freedom and sense of safety that you may not have known for a long time.

As you accept that freedom and safety for yourself, your children will learn that they can trust loving thoughts and that allowing their thoughts to be loving guarantees their safety. In a universe that’s only reflecting thoughts, loving is far more powerful than any effort you can make toward keeping your children safe.

It’s not that you are capable of making any physical effort in the illusion, but agreeing with fearful thoughts is a huge effort because it takes an enormous amount of energy to deny your loving essence. This leads to you feeling worn out, overworked and burdened.

In contrast, allowing your thoughts to be loving takes no effort. Although going through the pain of fear may feel like an effort in the beginning, over time, loving proves to be effortless, uplifting and energizing.

None of this is saying that you should or shouldn’t try to keep your children physically safe. You don’t have any choice in that. Your actions are playing out automatically, leading to exactly the experiences you need to undo what causes a world of illusions that demonstrate a lack of safety in the first place.

P.S. The photo here is of my boy when he was two years old, learning how to work a machete. He was also fond of playing on the roof when he was four years old. He gave this mama many opportunities to undo fearful programming!