Adventures of a Surrogate Unschool Mom

On August 21, 2019, my 10-year old nephew, Dillon came to stay with me and my family in Hawaii. Apparently, he was having trouble and getting into trouble at home with his family. What follows are my notes, which I made public on Facebook to my Unschooling for Parents group page.

August 21, 2019

The boy is afraid that without the behavior modification drug he’s going to misbehave and make aunty Hope angry with him.

I told him that was impossible. He doesn’t seem to believe me, but I think in time he will see for himself. 

August 26, 2019

My 10-year-old nephew explained to me that he’s “too lazy” and that’s why he didn’t do what he thinks he should have done.

I let him know that I’m not buying it because it’s impossible for him to be too much of anything and “lazy” implies that he’s capable of doing things.

He doesn’t totally get what I’m saying, but it does apparently calm his anxiety and that’s good enough for me.

September 2, 2019

Dillon 10-Day Update:

As many of you know, I’ve been playing in the role of surrogate mother to my 10-year-old nephew, who was on psychiatric drugs and considered to have serious behavioral issues.

When I visited his family in Henderson, Nevada he was a bit nervous to come with me all the way to Hawaii, but after a few days, he seemed incredibly excited. In the airport, Dillon expressed fear of not being on the drugs because he thought I would become angry at his behavior. I assured him that that was impossible.

For about the first week, Dillon seemed to be working very hard to incite anger in me, in every member of my family, and in anyone who wasn’t giving him their full attention. It was obvious to me that this way of being was just a habit that had become his way of calling for love.

On the airplane, Dillon would burst out in laughter, pain or otherwise make loud sounds that would startle me and the other passengers. At one point I found myself covering his mouth and when I removed my hand, he was smiling at me. I smiled back and let him know that people are trying to get some rest. He was doing his best, but still, the outbursts would come, and I was given the opportunity to exercise patience.

At home, the loud outbursts and other seemingly odd and disrespectful behavior continued while many “I’m sorry’s” came from Dillon without any immediate change in behavior.

I did not enroll Dillon in school because he has no desire for it. Dillon has been with me most of the time, even when I’m working because that’s where he wants to be.

After letting him know several times that I need quiet while I work, Dillon was still making loud outbursts, even though he has a Kindle Fire with plenty of movies, games and other things that he enjoys very much and that could very easily keep him occupied.

I watched as attack thoughts about him occurred to me, but I kept refusing to hold onto them. Sometimes those thoughts stuck with me, but not for very long as I could see the suffering they were making for me. I watched myself and members of my family became unnerved with Dillon and I kept refusing to make anyone at fault.

My 11-year-old son, Braun expressed that he wants Dillon to go back home because he is “so annoying”, so I let my son know that if he still feels that way in a month, I’ll send Dillon back home. Dillon heard this and expressed fear that if he was sent back home, he would be sent to juvenile hall. I told Dillon that I wasn’t concerned with that and if/when he’s sent home before June, it will not be because of his behavior but because he and Braun did not integrate.

I also let Dillon know that if he pays attention he can learn how to integrate anywhere and with anyone he wants. I also related to him that the loud outbursts were not working for me while I was working and that he was going to have to stay in his room if he could not keep quiet around me for the 3 hours or so that I needed to focus on other things. I said that he could try again each day to keep quiet and then go to his room if needed.

A few days later, Dillon calmed down and he’s been able to keep quiet while I’m working, keeping himself occupied with his Kindle Fire. He’s also demonstrating more maturity and respect for himself and everyone else.

Meanwhile, I’ve been taking Dillon out of the house to engage in community activities almost daily. At first, his habit was to complain a lot. Instead of being in awe of the beauty all around him, for the first few days, Dillon kept finding something wrong and jumping between elated, fidgety and pained.

He also had a habit of yelling out as if he just became seriously injured.
We arrived in Hawaii on a Wednesday night, and the following Sunday was his first Puna style Sunday Funday. This includes ecstatic dance, then a clothing-optional beach with intense waves that break right on the shore, then The Lawn, where many people gather to play music, eat, and engage in activities such as tightrope, frisbee, soccer, gymnastics, etc.

Dillon was afraid to dance because he said that people would make fun of him for being a bad dancer and afraid of getting naked because people would make fun of his small penis. I let him know it was safe to dance, be naked and to be himself, that it was not likely that anyone would make fun of him, and if they did, it doesn’t matter. I also let him know that dancing and getting naked were both optional.

Before we embarked on the clothing optional beach Dillon told me that naked people were disgusting. I let him know that he was talking about me because I was going to be naked in a few minutes. He changed his mind immediately and while he has kept his suit on, he doesn’t seem to mind the nudity at all.

He was much more interested in the waves breaking right onshore. He got immense enjoyment from experiencing the wildness of the ocean while staying grounded onshore.

Dillon took very well to all of the activities at The Lawn and even danced a bit in the drum circle. He’s had no problem integrating with people in the Sunday Funday environment.

Dillon has also been swimming at the community pool, played basketball with other kids at the community center and had lessons in aerial silks. This week he’s going to receive lessons in balancing and juggling skills at a circus community center.

His second Sunday Funday was even more fun for Dillon. He joined me for a few minutes of ecstatic dance, played in the pool after the dance, learned how to use a bullwhip at The Lawn, improved his tightrope skills, deepened his connections with people and made some new connections.

At home, Dillon told me that he wants to be a YouTube star, so I informed his father that Dillon could use a computer. When his father came up with stories of scarcity, my husband and I did a little research and purchased a suitable computer for him on Amazon.

Dillon was very grateful and relieved to have his creativity supported, and that night he entertained us with dances, jokes and his fun personality.
Last night, Dillon said he was sorry for something and I told him that he never has to be sorry because he’s always learning. I asked him if he would apologize to his teacher for getting a math problem wrong, and he laughed and said: “Why would I do that?”. I said that life is the same way. I told him that he can just appreciate what he is learning as he watches himself be changed.

Dillon then informed me that he can’t change because of the past. I asked, “What about the past?”. He said that because of how he’s been in the past, he’s going to keep being the same way.

So I asked Dillon if he’s noticed any difference in his behavior. He told me that he feels much calmer and more mature. I communicated that I see it too. I asked him why he thinks that is, and he told me that it’s because he feels happy.

He related a story to me of how he found himself going all the way upstairs to his room to put something away that he would have normally left on the couch. He said with emphasis that he would have NEVER done that at home in Henderson.

I told him that no matter what other people think about how well he’s learning, he can choose to just be happy that he is learning and the past won’t matter. That as long as he’s happy, he’s going to learn easier and faster.

I also related to him that his family in Henderson has been seeing him the way he sees himself, and because he was holding a poor image of himself, he kept drawing the same reflection from his family. I told him that he may have learned to see himself that way from his family’s reactions, but that he didn’t have to keep teaching their reactions to himself.

I asked him if he can imagine being loved, respected, supported and appreciated at home and he said “Yes!”. I told him that it was all within him and that he can totally learn how to express himself in a way that changes the people around him.

Needless to say, I’m super excited to continue this adventure in love and consciousness. I’m also excited about having a conversation with Dillon’s parents about how they can support this highly creative and intelligent child.

September 6, 2019

More Adventures as a Surrogate Mother:

A few days ago things got a little rough for me, in a playful way of course. Dillon seemed to be acting antagonistic and I seemed to be feeling annoyed.


Understanding for myself that this is all occurring in my mind, and that antagonism is a call for love from within myself, I take responsibility for all that I perceive. I go through emotional turbulence gladly and the breakthroughs come quickly.

That night Dillon related to me that his mom (stepmom) told him that if he’s sent back home early, she will send him to juvenile hall.

I told him that sometimes adults say things out of fear and they don’t really mean those things. He replied, “Like when my dad says he’s going to fuck me in the face or rip off my head and shit down my neck, but he never really does those things?”

I chuckled and said “Yes. just like that.” I let Dillon know that people who are hurting say and do hurtful things but that he can learn how to be protected from harm.

He said “But my reputation is so bad that when I go back home I’m just going to be punished some more. I asked him if he’s aware that reputations can change? He instantly perked up and said “Really?!”.

I said “Yes! That’s one of the things you are here to learn, is how to change your mind, which will change your reputation. Your parents are learning too. They want to have a happy, healthy relationship with you.”

I related to Dillon that because he was afraid of being sent home early and going to juvenile hall, it was causing him to act antagonistically because the mind has a way of seeking the very thing we are afraid of.

I shared with Dillon about how to undo the habit of being an antagonist by passively watching what’s motivating his actions and what he hopes to get out of relating with people in that way.

We talked for a little while as Dillon opened up and imagined a whole new way of being. When we started this conversation, Dillon was fidgety. He was wringing his hands, scratching himself and complaining of being itchy, having a headache and having a tummy ache.

He also seemed to be having trouble focusing his eyes on me. I told him that all of those pains were just habits set up to keep him from focusing on what we’re talking about. He said, “But I really want to talk about this.”

So I held his hands gently but firmly and asked him to look at me. When his eyes moved, I reminded him to stay focused on me.

While we were talking Dillon completely calmed down. I let go of his hands and I asked him if he noticed how calm he was. He said “Yes”. I asked him if he knew why he was so calm and he said it was because I was talking in a calm voice, that he liked what I was saying and that he was glad I wasn’t mad at him.

I could see that over the course of that day Dillon had projected that I was mad at him and that I was going to send him home for his bad behavior. Because he believed he had already messed up, he was made to act out even more and to manifest physical symptoms, not to mention getting smacked a few times by my son who is around the same age.

He also told me he was afraid that he was going to forget what we talked about because he always forgets things. I let him know that if he forgets I will remind him again and again, that we both want the same thing for him and that he can’t get it wrong.

As we were communicating he saw how he was only making up a story about me sending him home for bad behavior. That thought did cross my mind throughout the day but I didn’t pay any mind to it because I immediately saw that it was meaningless just like the perceived antagonism and my perceived emotional reactions to the antagonism.

The next day (yesterday), there was markedly less antagonism and other attention-seeking behavior and more helpfulness and self-sufficiency.

I’m having fun watching how my projected feelings and thoughts fluctuate with these seemingly different perceptions and it’s rewarding to encourage and inspire this chid’s return to peaceful awareness again and again

September 10, 2019

Update on Dillon’s Integration…

Many of you may recall that my 11-year-old son Braun wanted to send Dillon (his 10-year-old cousin) back to the mainland because he was “annoying”. I told Braun that if he still felt that way in a month, Dillon would return home at that time.

Well, the other night, the three of us were playing Uno when Dillon said to Braun, “It seems like you like me now because you let me into your room”.
Braun started singing “🎵Yes! Because you’re actually a nice person🎵“, and then Dillon sang back “🎵Then that means I can stay longer than a month🎵“, and Braun sang back to him “🎵Congratulations!🎵“. Then Braun did an expressive dance before we continued on with our game.
Dillon still seems to be attracted to making conflict, which was being expressed during our Uno game that night. But Braun seems to be able to roll with it now that he sees how much Dillon has already calmed down and how much fun we can all have together.

During the game, Dillon tried to lie and cheat and he accused me and Braun of trying to look at his cards. Braun and I both expressed that we weren’t interested in playing like that and even if his cards were exposed, we were going to try not to look at them because that makes the game less interesting.

Dillon seemed to get the message that we like playing in a friendly way and that he could let his guard down and just relax and have fun.
We were able to play three games with Dillon winning none of them, and by the end, he seemed perfectly content with the outcome.
****
I’ve noticed that Dillon tends to feel unsafe and insecure, and react as if his very survival depends on being seen and heard. That kind of expression has been a major turn-off for Braun, who generally feels safe and secure and who is generally attracted to people who feel the same.

As Dillon has learned what it takes to be friends with Braun, he’s been allowing himself to just play with Braun instead of trying to get a big reaction out of him. Still, when Dillon gets preoccupied with getting Braun’s attention, Braun lets him know that he doesn’t like it.

For instance, Dillon was accustomed to using sexually explicit words to get a reaction out of people, so he would often burst out with words like “dick, balls and booty hoe”. Being with Braun has been putting that in check because Braun finds it dumb and unfunny. In fact, when Dillon would make a joke that used sexually explicit language as the punchline, it would tend to get Dillon an “unfunny joke” slap from Braun.

****Last night, Dillon got the computer we ordered for him and I helped him set it up. It took a few tries because he would get very antsy and impatient, and I’d find myself stopping. He would ask me to help him again and I would let him know that I would be willing to help as long as he was chillin’. He eventually got the message and discovered how to find relaxation while engaged in the project with me.

At this point, because Braun is getting more comfortable with having Dillon in the house, it appears that Dillon is going to be able to stay with us for the entire 9 months we had planned. Dillon expresses that he loves his parents and siblings very much and he misses being with them. He seems very excited about returning home in the spring with a new perspective and a clean slate.

Much appreciation to the parents for giving Dillon this opportunity to discover another way of being and for their willingness to learn another way of being with him.

September 14, 2019

Protecting Innocence

Dillon came to me after being conditioned with extremely guilty self-talk, constantly saying he’s sorry, how bad he is and what an idiot he is. He’s also expressed the need to self punish because I wasn’t punishing him.

When he’s acting out of guilty self-talk it looks like he’s being a “bad boy”. I see him look at me for the reaction he expects, and it’s my joy to break his expectation, so I pray for the guidance and grace to see past guilty appearances in order to be a true reflection.

A few nights ago, Dillon asked me to tuck him into bed even though he wasn’t going to sleep yet. (He’s been staying up watching YouTube until he passes out.)🙂

I asked him what it meant to “tuck him in” and he said that I give him a hug, a kiss and say a prayer with him.

The first night he thanked God for the great day and for Aunty Hope being so nice to him. Then he asked me to say a prayer and so I thanked God for Dillon and asked God to show Dillon that he deserves all the kindness.

Last night we had the same routine. This time Dillon thanked God again and then asked God to forgive him for all of the sins he committed that day.
Then he asked me to say a prayer and I prayed for Dillon to see that he’s never committed any sin and that he’s completely innocent.

After the prayer, Dillon told me that someone said that it was good to pray for forgiveness every day, and I let him know that’s very common because most people believe that they have sinned and they pray for forgiveness because they are afraid of God’s punishment.

He then said, “But if I don’t ask God for forgiveness, then he won’t forgive me and I will be punished!” I then related to Dillon that God doesn’t know about the things he thinks he does and that it’s up to him to forgive himself for believing that he’s capable of doing anything that would make God angry.

I also let him in on the secret that the more he thinks he’s sinned and needs forgiveness, the more sinful he’s going to become in his own imagination.
Dillon asked if not believing in sin would stop him from doing bad things. I related to him that he’s already innocent, that it’s impossible for him to do bad things and whenever he thinks he has done a bad thing, he’s only making it up.

He seemed very excited about that, although he starts to sweat and he gets fidgety when he hears it. That’s how I know he’s heard enough for the moment.

Every day with Dillon is a blessing that I cherish. I appreciate every opportunity to protect our shared innocence in the midst of a world that aims to destroy it.

September 17, 2019

The other night Dillon prayed and thanked God for showing him that he doesn’t have any sins to forgive and that he can’t sin.

He seemed to get that so easily and since then he seems to have shifted into another dimension, with more ease and comfort.

The day before he told me that his mom always tells him how bad he is. I told him that he may not hear it from her when he returns home, and even if he does hear it. He doesn’t have to believe it! 💜💛

September 21, 2019

Dillon Update – One Month:

Dillon tells me he feels like he’s on vacation because he doesn’t have to go to school and he can watch YouTube and play video games all day.

What I see is that he’s also eager to help out, he’s inquisitive and very social. Also, from my experience with my own kids, he’s accelerating beyond his school-attending peers intellectually.

Dillon seems like a very different person from when he first arrived in Hawaii. He’s reflecting more of the maturity, calmness, and respect that the parents were trying to accomplish through conventional discipline, punishment, therapies, and psychotic drugs.

In fact, the evidence was clear that all conventional means had utterly failed. That’s why Dillon was sent to me in the first place.

Dillon came from a household where the prevailing thought was that bad behavior deserves punishment, and “too much” YouTube or video games qualified as “bad behavior”. The parents seemed totally stressed out and at their wit’s end with Dillon.

I’m encouraging the parents to allow themselves to trust Dillon’s choices because their trust in him engenders peace, fosters maturity, activates creativity and accelerates learning.

But the parents have some inner work to do before they can allow themselves to trust their child’s choices. While a parent is subscribed to the idea that children are meant to be controlled, allowing them to make their own choices is seen as neglectful, and being a neglectful parent is not an easy perception to have. Nor does it serve the child.

What’s being encouraged here is a complete change of heart and mind. For that to occur, the parent must be willing to recognize that everything they learned about their role as parent is backward and upside down.
Children have come to teach us, not the other way around. To let them lead the way takes willingness to go through emotional pain that serves as our defense mechanism for holding ourselves in a position of authority and in resistance to change.

Whether Dillon’s parents are willing to surrender their misbelief and face their emotional pain remains to be seen. In any case, Dillon came to answer their call for more peace and freedom and he will continue to do his “job” because he loves them.

September 25, 2019

When I had the perception of my nephew lying, I told him that people only lie when they are afraid. So I asked him what he was afraid of.

He told me he was afraid of getting in trouble. I let him know he was not going to get in trouble no matter what.

Now he just tells me what’s up. I think he likes being unafraid of getting in trouble.

October 13, 2019

More Adventures as an Unschooling Surrogate Mom

DILLON UPDATE – 1.75 MONTHS:

Dillon is ready to return home. He isn’t perceiving his family as a threat anymore and he feels ready to reintegrate with their programs. Hooray!!

When he first came to us, Dillon was extremely fearful. His little body would become stiff and he would become breathless while rapidly repeating that he was sorry, because he was afraid that he was going to “get in trouble”.

It occurred to me that he expected his behavior to earn him punishment and that he actively sought punishment even though he thought (and acted as if) he didn’t want it.

Once Dillon realized that nothing he perceived himself doing ever got him any punishment, his behavior changed significantly and quickly.
In fact, my older son asked me why his family was having a problem with him, commenting that he didn’t seem to be much trouble.

By the end of the first week, Dillon became adamant that he never wanted to return home. But he recently changed his mind about that.
His decision to return home came after Dillon had two instances of hallucinating loud screaming in his mind and images of the world encroaching upon him.

On the surface, it appeared as if staying up most of the night watching YouTube caused the hallucinating, but the motivation for staying up at night was only fear. That’s why it seemed to have fearful effects.

During the hallucinating, Dillon asked me how to make it stop and I related to him how to go through the fear, while I layed my hand on him and reminded him that he was safe. He relaxed within a few minutes and fell asleep.

The second instance seemed to be less intense and also seemed to subside sooner than the first, but after that Dillon’s fear of hallucinating again was multiplied.

Dillon told me that he realized he needs to have structure and punishments imposed upon him because it keeps him safe and healthy.

Such is a very good example of how people tend to cling to known fear rather than face unknown fear which arises on the path to greater freedom. The same is in no way any problem, as one can only accept as much freedom as they are ready for.

Many times a gradual release of fear is more easeful for people, as is the case with Dillon.

After Dillon related to me that he was afraid to fall asleep alone in his room, I’ve been sleeping with him every night so that while he’s with us he can feel safe enough to go to sleep before he passes out from exhaustion.

I’ve also told Dillon that I’m happy to sleep with him every night until he goes home. That seemed to put his mind at ease and he seems happy to be sleeping at night, yet he still “can’t wait” to go back home.

For the past few nights, he’s been making a big scene, acting like he’s distressed from fear and really wants to go home. Last night I told him if that’s the case, I’m taking him to the airport right away. He changed his mind and calmed down immediately because he really doesn’t want to go home before his birthday party, next Friday. It’s fun to see how fear is immediately resolved when it’s seen that it’s not getting us what we want!! lol!

Aside from the craving for rules and punishments, Dillon seems to be missing his family very much. Since he’s been here, he’s been able to perceive the love they have for him.

In fact, Dillon seems to be perfectly clear that everything his parents have done is because they love him. Yay!!

I just love how people are drawn together and apart perfectly in order to facilitate healing for our shared mind.

I’m also glad to be able to perceive even more how none of us are doing it right or wrong. Our roles are more like processes in one mental system that’s constantly being drawn towards greater love.

Today is Dillon’s 11th Birthday. We are going to celebrate with Sunday Funday and with a party next Friday. Soon after that, he will be off to begin his new life with his family.
What a blessing!

October 17, 2019

A Hui Hou, Dillon!

Dillon returned home on Tuesday. I was suddenly guided to get him a flight after it was revealed to me that he was ready to go.

While Dillon had been saying that he didn’t want to return home before his birthday party on the 18th, I was guided that he really wanted to return home as soon as possible.

So I made arrangements for him to fly before Dillon woke up. I felt a bit apprehensive because I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to the news.
When I went into his room to get his suitcase, he was just waking up. He looked at me and I said: “I’m getting your suitcase because you’re flying home today!”.

His eyes widened and he smiled big, then he jumped out of bed and helped me pack his suitcase. We went to his favorite breakfast place and he was off on his next adventure.

Dillon only mentioned the birthday party once and it was just a quick “Too bad I’m going to miss my party, but I’m really glad to be going home.”

We are still going to have a party on Friday for Dillon’s birthday, and we will be shipping his gifts to him in Henderson, Nevada.

The Unwitting Sexualization of Children

unwitting sexualization children

Many parents unwittingly sexualize their children because they are afraid of the child having sex too young or being sexually abused, and they don’t know how to take care of their fear. This is not about trying to avoid fearful effects, it’s about healing what causes fearful effects to manifest in the first place.

The root cause of fearful effects is fear, and the only way to eliminate fearful effects is to see that their cause has no basis in reality.

Specifically, our mind is programmed with an “ego”, which guides us to project fearful feelings and then try to avoid them. When the parent dwells in fear over their child being exposed to sex, ego guides the parent to project images that effectively sexualize the child in the parent’s mind, to relate with the world as if the image they hold of the child is really true, and to make agendas to keep the child safe.

Such agendas cause conflict between parent and child at a minimum while increasing the likelihood that the parent’s fears will be played out. Once the child has been sexualized in the parent’s mind, notwithstanding all of the avoidance strategies, the parent’s mind has been programmed to see that the image they believe in is made manifest. That image and trajectory deny the child’s inherent innocence and invulnerability, which causes the child to feel guilty and react fearfully.

To avoid sexualizing your child or to undo what you’ve already made of them…take care of your fearful feelings about your child being exposed to sex.

If the child asks about sex, give them honest answers, but don’t make a big deal of it, or try to control them about it.

If you find out that your child has been masturbating, watching porn or engaging in some sexual behavior, and that triggers upset feelings in you, take care of your feelings instead of justifying them, especially in front of your child. In this way, the child will not be afraid to confide in you if anything feels uncomfortable or scary to them.

That kind of confidence and freedom makes children far less susceptible to peer pressure, to playing victim to sexual predators, or to playing the role of sexual predator. It also protects them from developing a guilt complex about feeling sexual or about having sexual encounters.

If you find out that your child has been playing the role of sexual predator, take care of your feelings so that you can communicate with them. In this way, you can help them uncover and heal the guilty thought process that’s responsible for making them act out as a predator.

If you find out that your child has been playing the role of sexual victim, again, take care of your feelings so that you can communicate with them. In this way, you can help them uncover and heal the guilty thought process that’s responsible for making them into a victim.

I understand that this is a sensitive subject for people, and that’s because pursuant to the ego’s guidance, our mind is conditioned to keep fearful programs protected so that they can continue to justify feeling fearful. That’s how ego prevents us from finding out that there is really no basis for the fearful feeling and no need for ego at all.

As feeling fearful gets healed instead of getting projected, it’s our children who are getting the benefit of our mind’s protection instead of the ego’s fearful program. In addition, love gets extended and harmony prevails between parent and child.

How do you take care of your feelings? Notice when an uncomfortable or painful feeling arises in your body and just offer a little bit of willingness to admit that the feeling is a projection of your own confusion. In this way, your mind learns how to accept healing for your perception instead of using your perception to keep the cause of feeling fearful hidden from your sight.

What Do You Really Want?

Taking toys away, or using other forms of manipulation (“discipline”) as a means of convincing your child to change their behavior, doesn’t solve anything.

It may seem to affect their behavior and help you feel better in the short term.

But it denies your potential to feel good regardless of how your child acts while demonstrating to your child that controlling and manipulating people’s behavior is the best way to get what they want.

Did you know that trying to convince children and other people to act differently is only a conditioned habit intended to make you feel better temporarily, but that same habit actually leads you deeper into despair?

I get that you may want to press upon your child the “realities” of the adult world, but that’s not the purpose for which your child shows up in your experience. Their purpose is to help you undo the adult-world thinking that’s actually making you unhappy, not to become a slave to that kind of thinking themselves.

In fact, your child shares the same purpose with you, and you were aware of your purpose as a child, but your early experiences may have caused you to deny yourself and become obedient to worldly wisdom instead.

The question to consider is “What do you really want?”. Would you rather have miracles or masquerades? Heaven or the dream of death? Your answer to these questions is evident in the way you react to your perceptions of bad behavior.

Don’t worry about what you will do about your child’s behavior. All actions (yours and theirs) occur automatically and they are perfectly organized to bring about exactly the lessons you need to learn in order to restore your mind to sanity.

Through your willingness to be aware of what motivates your reactions, you will become so disciplined in the art of true forgiveness that the thought of imposing discipline on your child or anyone else will cease to have any effects on your behavior.

What Are You Really Feeding Them

Just because you bought into the idea that food has real effects on the body doesn’t mean you have to hand down that painful self-belief to your kids, as if it’s true.

In fact, it’s irresponsible to make yourself or your kids responsible for what you seem to put into your bodies, and teaching that to your kids only encourages them to be irresponsible too.

Why is that irresponsible? Because you are responsible for ALL that you perceive, and if you are perceiving that one illusion (food) affects another illusion (body), it’s your responsibility to deny truth to that illusion.

It’s Denying truth to illusions, not teaching allegiance to them that heals the appearance of bodies that are vulnerable to sickness and death.

You can let eating be fun again and learn for yourself that all effects are mental if you’re just a little bit willing to give up false responsibility and embrace what’s really true.

I’m aware that this is a difficult concept for most people to consider, for the common person has been conditioned to believe that food has effects on the body, and such has become their experience. But just because you experience something in the illusory world does make it true.

In fact, the illusory world is set up to deny what’s true and to induce you to believe that you are a body that’s vulnerable to effects of the world, one of which is food. In fact, both body and world are effects of erroneous self-belief being projected by your own mind, and those effects are only being projected for the purpose of correcting the root cause. Said correction takes willingness to look upon what caused the worldly effects being perceived, but that cannot occur whilst you are insisting that the effects themselves are real.

Vaccine Deception

I can see why having an experience of vaccines causing harm would make it seem as if vaccines are a real threat. I also understand that healing the root cause of perceiving harm and threat of harm in the world is not for everyone at this time.

Most people would rather make threats and harmful things real and then try to correct them, which only guarantees more of the same. But such is the backward thinking of the world to which we have all been conditioned to have faith in and be faithful to.

To deny truth to illusions takes a certain degree of understanding of what really makes illusions of harm in the first place. This doesn’t mean not doing anything about it, but it does mean willingness to recognize that no one is capable of doing anything at all….That all doing is like a special effect of the mind…convincing people that they do things on their own and that they are responsible for what they do.

It’s allegiance to the idea of doership that’s rooted in attraction to perceiving a world of death, destruction, sickness, and victimization, which we can and will undo.

One by one, each of us will play out our roles in allegiance to the illusion until we can see through it and we are no longer motivated to make it real. It’s only a matter of time, but time can go on for what seems like forever for those who remain committed to making illusions true.

Said commitment causes people to look for solutions in the world, only to multiply suffering for themselves. When the power of commitment is transferred to denying truth to illusions, that when the cause of suffering begins to heal once and for all.

Some of us are in that final phase now, with numbers growing by the day. Anyone can enter, but it takes a certain willingness to surrender worldly wisdom.

My joy is to support and assist anyone who is ready to take that quantum leap. With much love and admiration for all beings.

Understanding the Feeling Effect

This is an advanced idea, but when it’s properly understood, you will never again be able to make yourself out to be weak, frail, sick or wanting without knowing how to heal it.

Firstly, to facilitate understanding, here’s a depiction of the order of things and terms being used here:

Self-Belief (concept of self extrapolated from the mistaken thought that you separated yourself from reality) ——->> Feeling Effect (visceral sensations that demonstrate the consequence of Self-Belief) ——->> Peripheral Effects (thought and thought forms projected outward from the Feeling Effect aka everything that can be perceived) ——->> Fixating on Peripheral Effects supports Self-Belief and the wheel goes round and round

The Feeling Effect is the first effect of Self-Belief. It’s a demonstration of the energy that’s presently being projected outward to make Peripheral Effects. This is very difficult to see as it seems to be the other way around – it seems that the Peripheral Effects are responsible for arousing the Feeling Effect.

Because of the seeming order of things, the conditioned habit is to deny the Feeling Effect and focus on giving reality to the Peripheral Effects as if they caused the Feeling Effect. Fixating on the Peripheral Effects is the habitual tendency and the device used to deny the Feeling Effect and support Self-Belief, which occurs by default.

Peripheral Effects have no meaning and their only function is to keep the mind distracted from attending to the Feeling Effect and thereby resolving Self-Belief.

It is only through embracing the Feeling Effect that Peripheral Effects lose power over the mind and Self-Belief gets healed.  Specifically, the mind can only learn that it’s a benefit and not a threat to release Self-Belief by going through the Feeling Effect.

For instance, feeling like one wants something (better health, more money, connection, freedom, etc) is caused by the Feeling Effect of Self-Belief, The habitual response is to fixate on the Peripheral Effect by agreeing with thoughts that seem to prove that something is really wanted, which supports Self-Belief.

In this way, the Feeling Effect gets resisted and time gets extended to accommodate more Peripheral Effects being made while protecting the Self-Belief.

Conversely, when the mind’s attention is consciously turned back toward the Feeling Effect, the underlying Self Belief gets resolved because it is not being supplied with the necessary energy in the form of thought projections that support it.

Accordingly, the Feeling Effect and Peripheral Effects are denied reality, happiness ensues, and time shortens.

Q: Why would anyone want to shorten time?

A: Because time is only necessary while there is allegiance to Self-Belief. Everyone really wants to return to timelessness, wherein there is no possibility of dreaming that life has an opposite.

Q: Without dreaming, isn’t there just nothingness, like a void.

A: No, that idea is based on fear of death and intentional forgetting of the world you thought you lost forever. The real world is an extension of eternal Life without an opposite and without conflict or the effects of time.

The Choice To Love

Your escape from this world depends on your acceptance of all “others” as your Savior. “Others” includes your body and projected mind (who you think you are).

There is truly no one other than yourself. The others that occur to you are only projections of mistaken self-belief.

Hating, attaching to them or fearing them makes the mistaken self-belief real for you, which ties you to this world. But loving them as yourself releases you.

How do you love all others as yourself? Watch how you seem to feel about them. That’s how the mistaken self-belief is making you feel about yourself.

The tendency is to hide from feeling the effects of mistaken self-belief by projecting those feeling effects onto others, but you can make another choice at any given moment.

The choice for your release from this dream of death takes a little bit of willingness to feel the effects of projecting for yourself.

How do you know when you’re projecting? There is a sense of irritation, uncomfort or pain, whether physical or emotional.

Any sense that denies joy is only upheld by your choice to project thought. It’s a conscious choice, although it’s common to consciously hide it from yourself as well.

Be mindful of your projecting and willing to feel it. Don’t try to stop projecting or argue with it, but turn your attention toward feeling, physical or emotional. Pinch yourself if you need to.

That’s all there is to it. Keep up with the practice and in time all of this will be undone and give way to what’s always been.

Reclaiming Innocence

Because our deepest desire is to reclaim the innocence that our self-projected minds have made into a far-fetched fantasy, babies and unconditioned children are projected into our experience to demonstrate the way.

However, the common adult uses the appearance of children’s carelessness and innocence to teach themselves exactly the opposite.

Specifically, the common adult doesn’t think in terms of the child’s careless innocence demonstrating what’s possible for themselves, but in terms of teaching the child that bodies are vulnerable to sickness, attack, and death, and in terms of how to apply worldly solutions to avoid the different forms of bodily harm that the adult projected onto the child in the first place.

Such is a form of self-importance that guarantees more illusions of frail, limited and vulnerable bodies. It also guarantees that death remains as if it’s the inevitable opposite of life.

Reversing the thinking of the world is simple, but not necessarily easy. Everyone chooses whether to use the world’s thinking as a guide for teaching what they already know, or for learning how to reverse it.

To choose consciously takes a little bit of willingness to go through defensiveness and fear, and admit that what you think you know amounts to foolishness compared to the wisdom demonstrated by babies children before they learn to deny themselves.

Every perception provides a new opportunity to choose again.

One Desire

The desire for anything of this world reflects the desire to escape this world.

This world, which projects from your own imagination is caused by the secret belief that you are deserving of death for having separated yourself from reality.

Having found yourself guilty and deserving of death, this world is a projection of your desire to make a substitute reality and a secret hiding place to avoid certain death. According to your desire, the world as you know it is made manifest.

However, this world is not a good substitute for reality nor is it a good hiding place because it only leads to a seeming death and then another seeming birth, whilst you carry around the guilty self-concept that makes illusions of pain, sickness, conflict, and scarcity throughout each lifetime.

As long as you are projecting the desire to make this world, you are also holding within your mind the desire to escape this world, which causes tension and sense that you deserve more. That tension and sense of deserving more is an indication that you cannot succumb fully to this dream of death because you belong in eternity, not in time.

The only time in which you have a direct connection to eternity is Now. It’s a window of opportunity to undo the belief that you separated yourself from Heaven and threw away eternal life.

The way to escape this prison world is through your relationship to it. Do not permit your mind to hold yourself as a victim to anything you perceive nor dwell on the past or future as if they are not projected from your mind in the present moment.

Instead, remind yourself why you are making illusions so that you can use those illusions for undoing the guilty self-belief that is their cause by allowing your thinking to align with Creation.

How do you allow your thinking to align with creation? Through feeling. If it causes you any shred of fear, upset, irritation or worry, it’s based on a guilty self-concept. Keep looking in the direction of thoughts that resonate with the pure joy that’s within you and provide you with a sense of comfort and relaxation that’s not of this world.

It takes great effort, willingness, devotion, and discipline to choose your own escape from the dream of death, but it does get easier over time and it is worth it!

If you don’t use the illusion of time for undoing the guilty self-concept that makes this world manifest, you are using it to make this world real for yourself, which leads to greater and greater degrees of suffering until you are forced to use time wisely. Either way, you will inevitably choose your own salvation. It’s just a matter of how much sickness, conflict, and death you are willing to go through in order to uphold a world that’s made out of a mistaken belief about who you are and what you’ve done.

No Grieving in Loving

What often passes for love is really attachment. People fall in attachment and mistake that for falling in love because they are attracted to the grieving that follows.

In fact, worldly wisdom insists that people grieve because they love deeply as if love really is something that leads to pain.

But any form of love that can lead to pain was never really love at all. It’s only a make-believe substitute for love projected from a mind that mistakenly believes it has cut itself off from true love.

No one falls in love, but it is possible to rise in love out of the shallowness of attachment to false love.

There is no grieving in Love. When you find yourself grieving, it can be resolved if you simply accept no thought that says you are grieving because of love or because of anything other than mistaken self-belief.

Unwillingness to have the cause of grieving healed is due to mental defenses set up to protect this important ego device which makes love fearful and fulfills the secret wish to keep the dream of death alive.

Grieving is not a normal part of life. It’s what people think they deserve, and so they seek it out through the particulars of their lives and then use those particulars and their concept of love as justification for the grieving that ensues.

This doesn’t mean that grieving is wrong or bad, or that anyone is less spiritual if they find themselves grieving.

Grieving has an important purpose. It presents an opportunity to heal what caused it, thus allowing you to reclaim the kind of love you are truly worthy of.

All it takes is a little bit of willingness to stop agreeing with thoughts that seem to justify grieving, especially when you find yourself in the midst of grieving.