A Bread Offering for Disrespect

This post is a follow-up to Hope’s Wisdom Dialogues Episode Called Lifting the Veil, written by Gail Florence.

“Kung binato ka ng bato, batuhin mo ng tinapay’’ – A Tagalog proverb

The quote above is a Filipino’s way of expressing compassion. Literally, it describes a situation where if a person throws a rock at you, you throw a piece of bread back to him. This saying is oftentimes mentioned in Filipino religious classes and sermons on the topic of kindness. As a Christian country, it is an implication of Jesus’ unconditional love to everyone even to those who insulted, doubted and disrespected him.

A freshly baked bread after the insult….

If this quote is a real scenario now, it is a big question who can avenge oneself by tossing back a piece of bread if he was hurt by someone’s stone-throwing. Definitely, our attack-mode will automatically make us move sans our consciousness. Perhaps, some of us would throw back the same stone and intentionally aim where the person could get hurt, too. Some would even find a bigger stone, shout back, punch the person, call the police and do all sorts of things as defense. However, it could be a handful to none or zero at all who would just give the person of piece of freshly baked bread after the insult done.

Then, again, it is taking things literally. In our day-to-day encounters, what we experience is disrespect. It is a relative concept. For parents, rudeness is equal to kids answering in informal language. So, telling them, “I am no friend of yours. Don’t talk to me that way.” It can also be kids doing silly gestures, banging bedroom doors or throwing their stuffed toys. Meanwhile, in the office, disrespect has a wide spectrum from a boss flipping reports because he is frustrated, a coworker saying offensive things, and to a client’s non-stop invectives about product or service quality.

How we reach to situations?

It doesn’t mean we are in the wrong if we feel insulted or disrespected but it is for us to see how we react to such situations. Are we throwing back stones or pieces of bread? What can we do with our feelings when we know, if we continue seeing disrespect from others, we won’t feel happy at all?

For one thing, rather than watching others’ behavior as if we are waiting for their next move, we can watch our reaction instead. Our reaction will tell us we are resisting or embracing. Resisting will make us defensive while embracing will make us kind. When we are mindful of our reaction, we can take it as an opportunity to extend love.

People are not doing anything to us. However, our ego convinces us to attack their innocence when we perceive their behavior as disrespectful. So, we need to be mindful about our reactions. When we feel upset, we can acknowledge it and love it up. We heal through recognizing the upset feeling and we become very kind in return.

We are mirrors of each other…

When we believe our kids are disrespecting us, they are only revealing what we need to know by reflecting what we are keeping hidden about ourselves. This is because we are mirrors of each other, meaning our feelings are reflected by another through the sharing of energies. So, when we are watchful of our thoughts and emotions, we acknowledge them as opportunities for us to learn and heal rather than attacking back.

Healing is instant…

Healing is instant as long as we recognize our reactions, projections and illusions. The forgiveness taking place is as if nothing happened. We can always extend compassion rather than defenses and restrictions. So, we just need to watch ourselves and we will be guided with our movements and words. When we continuously practice this, we won’t be holding on to upset feelings as if they are reality. We can notice them and let them just flow out. What’s real are expressions of love and joy which are innate in us.

We can always choose between the light which makes us feel better, or the darkness which makes us feel guilty, depressed, and confused. We can change our perceptions of disrespect. We can throw stones or offer bread.

Lifting The Veil | WD

Lifting The Veil | WD
Wisdom Dialogues Online

00:00 / 02:10:33

In this episode of Wisdom Dialogues, Hope Johnson and her panelists discuss about recognizing the guilt behind our projections. Hope encourages us to always notice our reactions when something comes up like disrespectful behaviors. Watch along this interactive episode and glean more insights on the following topics:

  • What relaxation and breathing can do?
  • What can we do when we have an anxiety attack?
  • Our negative feelings can’t affect us but is joy an effect?
  • How can we heal projections of disrespect?
  • What can be done when perceiving someone’s innocence is lost?
  • What’s not the ego story?
  • How can we eliminate money?

What relaxation and breathing can do?

We can love our fearful feelings because underneath it is excitement and fun. We are just buying into the thought that we are afraid. Fear is excitement without the breath. As we notice how we are breathing at the moment, we will also notice we are letting more love in. Breath is love, symbolically.

We can engage in a breathing technique that works for us. We can be aware of how and what the breath is. It can relax on its own through focusing on the senses, its sound and where the breath passes without any judgement.

We can choose whatever is appropriate for us because we can’t do anything wrong. The big ego fear is surrendering. Being watchful requires a kind of surrender in trying to take responsibility for our own life. When we surrender, we will be guided for whatever comes. So, we can just watch and see what is keeping us from enjoying. We can simply relax and laugh.

What can we do when we have an anxiety attack?

Our anxious attacks (heart beating faster, body feels warmer, agitation and shallow breathing) are all manifestations of our thoughts. It is us choosing to follow them. There is no cause outside ourselves for anxiousness, confusion and questions unless we follow the thoughts modifying ourselves away from who we are. We have to be willing to see we are buying into them.

It is like a performance. We put thoughts like they are costumes and become this or that. It means, we always have complete dominion over them. We can be our light but we tend to choose the image we painted ourselves.

The ego-victim thoughts are not true. Our experiences are just going to us so, no one’s doing anything. When we feel we are not choosing our spirit voice, it is the ego-victim thought we are believing.

Our negative feelings can’t affect us but is joy an effect?

Joy is the pure expression. It is not coming from illusion. It is not fleeting happiness but an inner joy springing from a well underneath the surface of our illusions and projections. It is like our cue to stay on purpose. So, when there are moments of depression, they can rise and pass. We can sit still, watch the sensations unfold and recognize we don’t belong to them. We can walk through them in a healing way. When depression goes to a higher intensity, we can sink back to much more joy. We can acknowledge it as a blessing as if something beautiful is coming from it.

How can we heal projections of disrespect?

When another person seems to show disrespect towards us, our resistance to the behavior is our resistance to our inner child. Kids are not doing anything if we think they are disrespecting us. They are only revealing to us what we need to know about ourselves, what we keep hidden.

When we are alert, we can seize the opportunity by watching our reactions. Feeling disrespected is us getting rid of our guilt by making others feel guilty. It is like a murderous game. We are guilty for believing we are separated from the Source. We all have such guilt and our thoughts and actions are extrapolations from it.

When someone disrespects us, notice the reaction arising from within. It is not a matter how we should behave but a matter of recognizing our reactions and loving them. We are healing what’s causing us to feel guilty which makes us kind. Whatever form of disrespect we seem to get, allow compassion for the reaction, watch the feeling, remember what’s true and make a choice for love.

We will know we are mistaken when we feel bad but no one is disrespecting us. It is only the ego wanting to fight back what we see outside ourselves. It will attack on other people’s innocence to regain ours. So, when we feel upset with people’s disrespectful behavior, we can choose what we can give them – will we poke them with a hot stick or give them a safe place in our hearts?

The sinister guarantee in projections is we are getting every bit of the punishment we want others to have through feelings of suffering, depression and confusion. However, we can repent it right now because they don’t have power over us. They don’t have creative power for our future, too. As soon as we recognize our projections, healing can immediately happen. The forgiveness feels like nothing happened. When we accept the gift of healing, it is done.

What can be done when perceiving someone’s innocence is lost?

The person whom we believe is losing innocence is us. We are sensing our own innocence has been lost. We are using our perception as if we can get our innocence back by making the person as the one who has lost it. It is like a self-reflection.

When we understand it, we don’t have to buy the idea that others are being brainwashed. We are making it up so that we can unload some guilt. However, we are just projecting and there is nothing to unload.

If we need to help in such situation, it will be presented to us and we will just know it.

What’s not the ego story?

The ego’s story is perceptions are going to stay. It can become repetitive and generates hate feelings over and over but it is a great opportunity to see such patterns. It is hard to see at the moment because of our defenses which keep us in conflict with other people. The underlying mechanism of the ego is a projection that someone has to lose to get our innocence back. We can undo it by recognizing there’s no gain from other people’s loss.

We can feel out whatever is arising in us and allow ourselves to be excited and thankful for the opportunity it gives. So, when we have thoughts like, “My son hates me,” it is not true because there is only love.

How can we eliminate money?

The thought there is something we need to eliminate gives value to the object. If it is money, then we are making money real. However, the world is just our reflection. When we lose the idea to try to improve it, we start to see the authenticity of our reflections. We will not seek to get rid of anything.

Money seems to be meaningful when it is not. It is only a manifestation of the mind. However, it can be opportunity to watch our thoughts, where they attack and can get back to us as a form of healing. When we start to see truth, we can recognize there is no guilt, money nor air. No matter what is there in the surface is not a problem. All are just equal.

It is all an energy play. The physical reality is a make-believe. All of us – beings, objects, concepts – are just one thing and for one thing.